amethyst674

hELLO All Just wanted to say hi and share my little story

I am a 37 y/o single mom/nurse. For most of my adult life I was dx with Anxiety and depression. I have switched careers teacher to nurse, had many short lived relationships (one was really good and i destroyed it due to my impulsiveness and inner turmoil) And just loved jumping from 1 thing to another in general....
I have been on the antidep rollercoaster for 13 years .(and tried 'em ALL ) But the last 3 years have been Awful even on effexor and Xanax. Panic attacks, self medicating with wine daily. and before my period i was a freakin psychopath. I have gained 30 pounds.I haven't dated in over 2 years. Basically I just worked and took care of daughter, drove her and her friends around, ate and slept. I stopped seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. I also did the crazy moving 3 times in 1 year in 2010. SO>>>I needed to do something drastic!
Recently I had a really bad crisis a month ago (panic attacks, crying constantly, didn't sleep for like a week, almost got in trouble for being late at work, lost control with teen daughter many times and awful night sweats etc etc. I was desperate.I found this great psychiatrist ( I had seem him back in 2000 but didn't do what he told me at the time. ) BUT he has really helped me alot. He has 40 yrs experience and is also really caring and gives u samples etc. And he listens, and really knows his ****. He put me on Abilify 5mg for what he calls BP "mixed " episodes and Lamcital- titrating from 25mg to 150 very slowly in case of the rash. This was of course, After we spoke (mostly I spoke/rambled for 45 min) and I filled out a short questionare. I was kind of scared of the side effects but he told me there are more s/e to many antidepressants and started me on a really low dose, He told me to wean off my antidepressant(effexor)slowly and I can still take Xanax if I need it. I don't know if it's too soon, but, aside from a bit of insomnia at 1st, I AM FEELING A LOT BETTER. I am feeling happier and more normal, a feeling I haven't had in a long time. I'm motivated, the crying spells stopped. The anger/irritability I used to get ....(believe me my 16 y/o is not easy to deal with, and she has the same **** I have) has improved greatly. I can now deal with her in a more rational, calm, non-emotional way . She has been on Zoloft for a yr for panic and depression.It worked at 1st, but now its not doing ****. I had just about given up on medication, but this man has been a life saver! FOR THE 1ST TIME IN A LONG TIME I FEEL HOPE