my psychiatrist says i have bipolar II-mixed. (mixed anxiety and depression). I DO have both anxiety and depression all day long. But i also have OCD and social anxiety disorder...both pretty severe.
i'm struggling with the "you're bipolar and will be forever." I have hope that I can heal. I've had a lot of childhood neglect and trauma, and feel that I have a lot of that to overcome. Perhaps bipolar was in the mix and so exacerbated all my problems? I don't know. It doesn't run in my family though.
my therapist who i've been seeing for 2 and a half years and who is a relational therapist believes i have an attachment problem, and "often people who have attachment problems, when they develop a secure attachment style, they stabilize." THAT sounds hopeful, not the psychiatrist's "you're bipolar forever."
It's strange to come upon your thread because recently-I've been going through a downtime- I've caught myself wondering if it isn't better somehow to not know that I'm bipolar. I do see the world and myself through a different lens since my diagnosis, and I'm often questioning my instincts or reactions to see if they are symptomatic. It can be awful to know that my illness is incurable, that medicine is expensive and possibly useless, and worst of all I am somehow painted as my own worst enemy.
The brain is the last organ humans will understand, much less be able to treat effectively. Here are somethings that have helped me over the years: Choose two or three of the undeniably good, lovely, and wonderful aspects of yourself and keep them as a mantra. Treat your condition as cancer patients treat theirs-with respect and dignity. Do not trigger yourself if you can help it. Good luck to you-
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I can really relate to your struggles to come to terms with having bipolar for the rest of your life. It does suck to think that you'll need to be prescription drug dependent forever, just to be normal. No matter what doctors say I do think I will heal and recover. I think there will come a time in my life where I won't have anymore bad episodes for a long long time, or even ever. I'm hopeful.
Ah honey I know what you're going through, I have Bipolar as well. To me though, it was easy to accept; I always felt that I was crazy and that there was something wrong with me. It helps to have a name for it and a way to treat it. I feel less crazy now, I'm not just insane, I'm not just weird.. I'm Bipolar.
As far as your problem goes, if you're Bipolar then you're Bipolar... As long as it's not too severe you can manage it with therapy and positive thoughts and a positive attitude. If you don't want meds then try to manage it that way!
My husband always tells me that Bipolar is not WHO I am, it's just an ASPECT of who I am. For example, I can let it control me (not saying that you're doing that! by saying, "oh crap, I have bipolar, so I'll never be "normal" or able to do "x, y, or z"... when in reality YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOSE YOUR OWN FATE. Medication can be very helpful... I still have good days, I still have bad days, but after a while, I've been able to realize that bipolar is just a label, nothing more. I still take my medications, see my doctor, therapist, etc, but I'm also able to lead what I consider a normal life (and after all, what is normal anyway?!?) - dancing in my car, running, reading everything I can get my hands on, holding down a job... TAKE COURAGE. YOU CAN DO THIS. IT'S NOT THE END.
The first and smartest thing to do when your diagnosed with any disorder is to learn about your disorder so you know what to expect, how to treat it, and how to get on with your life, while staying safe and stable. Yes, a BiPolar Disorder Diagnosis can be a lifestyle, it doesn't always have to be. The first thing you need to understand is mixed state BPII is not about depression and anxiety, it's about Depression and Manic tendencies. There are many meds that can control these, therapy usually helps quite a bit. It can be hard to get things under control in the beginning, but once you do, there's no reason you can't live a pretty normal life, work, get married, raise a family, do whatever you want...it's not a death sentence....you manage it, just like anyone does with any disease or disorder.