Just wondering if anyone else has the feeling that they just don't fit into a spot in life. I look at everyone else I know and they all seem to have found a place in this crazy world. Is in normal that I don't have that feeling? I have felt this way as far back as I can remember and if I start dwelling on it I can go down in flames pretty fast. I just hate this feeling like everyone else can figure it out why can't I. Thanks for reading and I look forward to some dialog on this subject.
both pars broken off at L5
Nerve damage R/L
L5-S1 fusion w/hardware
Dorsal column spinal stimulator
Bi-Polar,Gen. Anxiety disorder
Hi there Dub1, I Think I know exactly what you mean, and it's not a good feeling. I hope we're on the same page. While I have an abundance of disorders/diseases, it was the bipolar that shoved me out of society and made it hard to even make friends. I always wanted a career, and worked while ill, but frankly, I wanted a typical family life (husband & especially kids) more than anything. Now I find myself with "nothing" -- no job, no husband, no kids ever. I don't feel like I really have any normal place in society whatsoever. I enjoy volunteer work, when healthy enough to do it, but I'm still in my own private Idaho, with no friends who understand bipolar, only my docs & therapists understand. This hits people with disabilites of all kinds, all the time. It's bizarre --most people start this life planning on so-called normalcy, and then at some stage, if disabilities strike, all the plans and dreams just get wiped out. What a rotten gig it can be, and the only way to change it, I think, is to redefine what a successful life means to You as an individual. The best advice I ever received on this topic was from a gal (disabled) who gave me a nice little speech that made sense: The main point of it was to Never judge the success of your life based on typical societal norms, but rather your ability to have days that brings joy to you, that are as productive and joyful as you can make them. If the day is filled with nice hobbies, or even just peace of mind(!), then good for you and all of us who are burdened with medical hardships. Healthy people simply don't face the same challenges we do, so we shouldn't judge ourselves (as people with disabilities) by the same criteria. Just being "different" and/or ill is a challenge...Fitting in to the normal societal structure may not be any proper measure of success, but if we can define success as making the best of things, to the best of our abilities, then a Happy Day is a success unto itself. I hope this makes some sense -- I'm having what I call a "bad brain day", perhaps not the best time to try to share. Take Care!
Yes, I have definitely felt that way. I've come to the conclusion that some people really have it figured out, while a lot of other people don't. The only challenge for me is (when I am in this kind of mood, or thinking about this topic) remembering that there are plenty of people in this world like me, who just feel like they don't fit, and don't have it figured out. I hope to one day feel more of a fit, and feel like I have a little more figured out.
I can so identify with how you feel. I went back to work after a manic episode and felt like everyone else was behind a wall I could not reach through. I do not feel like I belong anywhere. I don't think I'm depressed. I think I am exhausted and so tired of swinging from one pole to another. It makes it impossible for "normal" people to have a relationship with me. I can't even understand me how can I expect others to do the same?
The following user gives a hug of support to sheltiemom2006: CM0608 (07-05-2012)