I was diagnosed 6 years with being bipolar. My biggest issue has been self destructive behavior. I don't know how to control it. Hospitalizations, DUIs,Drug Abuse,unexpectedly quitting jobs and infidelity have all been things that I have struggled with over these past six years. I was in an unhappy marriage that ended because of these things. I don't regret it happening because I didn't like my first wife. My second wife is a whole different story. She is very understanding of my illness and I adore her. What I am afraid of is losing her through my behavior. We've agreed that I can't drink or do drugs because of the negative effect it would have on my meds. Despite this agreement, I got a DUI last year and this year I got fired from my job for being drunk. In both instances I knew that she would find out, and that I might lose her through my behavior. I didn't care though. Has anyone else battled and successfully gotten their behavior under control. Could it be that I am on the wrong meds? I am currently on Lithium Bicarbonate and Abilify
Re: Self Destruction
I had a problem with self control/ impulse control while on Abilify. I feel more like an rx trial than a patient sometimes with all the med combos I have tried. I have found Interpersonal Therapy to be the best thing to help keep me on the path to making the decisions that I want to make in my life even when its hard and all I want to do is go back the self destruction pattern of behavior so that I may "feel" something.
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