It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Bipolar Disorder Message Board
Post New Thread   Reply Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-23-2013, 12:33 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1
plink87 HB User
Missing the old me

So, once the meds seem to have stabilized the mood swings, how do you cope with the person you are becoming? I miss some parts of the old me.....the fast thinking, creativity, boundless energy. (I don't miss the me that was so mean and hateful and was on such a self-destructive path.) I'm so thankful that I seem to be stabilized, at least for now, but I feel like my creativity is completely gone. I can't seem to write anything anymore, and feel like I just don't have the same "snap." I don't seem to have much direction. Any thoughts?

 
Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2013, 08:16 AM   #2
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NC, USA
Posts: 5
circlesanddots HB User
Re: Missing the old me

I understand what you mean... I've been relatively stable for the past three years. I miss being able to think fast as well as paint. I use to enjoy painting but now I rarely do. I miss it. I also am often tired and don't have the energy at all.

 
Reply With Quote
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-30-2013, 08:55 AM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NC, USA
Posts: 5
circlesanddots HB User
Re: Missing the old me

I also understand where you are coming from. I use to paint and write all the time, however; I now rarely do it now. I'm so tired most of the time and I often am not as fast thinking as i was. I wish I had my old self back, minus all the moods. I often wonder if others feel the same. I have been somewhat stable for the past 4 years.

 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2013, 10:23 AM   #4
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: McHenry, IL, USA
Posts: 5
designdiva HB User
Re: Missing the old me

I can totally relate to what you are feeling. I guess things miiiight depend on how long you have been on your meds? I was really devastated when I got on my meds nearly 3 years ago, because I lost the essence of ME. I was silly, fun, the life of the party, a smart ***, high energy & everything else you mentioned. The weird thing is the really creative side didn't show up until I was hospitalized (I was sketching in the hospital. weird, right?) & it continued once I came home.

Anyway, it did take a while for my body to regulate things & for me to get ME back. I'm once again my silly, fun, smart ***, goofy self. I have a creative streak & have put it to great use, by getting a degree in graphic design.

My meds still do take their toll, from time to time. I take a pretty sizeable dosage of a mood stabilizer in the late evening. If I am not physically or mentally stimulated, I usually fall asleep. But, given the alternatives I am completely fine with that. I have been on the same meds since diagnosis & am happy with where things are. Maybe talk to your dr about changing dosages or meds if you're truly miserable. It couldn't hurt to ask, right?

Hang in there,
Natalie

 
Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2013, 10:26 AM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: McHenry, IL, USA
Posts: 5
designdiva HB User
Re: Missing the old me

I can totally relate to what you are feeling. I guess things miiiight depend on how long you have been on your meds? I was really devastated when I got on my meds nearly 3 years ago, because I lost the essence of ME. I was silly, fun, the life of the party, a smart ***, high energy & everything else you mentioned. The weird thing is the really creative side didn't show up until I was hospitalized (I was sketching in the hospital. weird, right?) & it continued once I came home.

Anyway, it did take a while for my body to regulate things & for me to get ME back. I'm once again my silly, fun, smart ***, goofy self. I have a creative streak & have put it to great use, by getting a degree in graphic design.

My meds still do take their toll, from time to time. I take a pretty sizeable dosage of a mood stabilizer in the late evening. If I am not physically or mentally stimulated, I usually fall asleep. But, given the alternatives I am completely fine with that. I have been on the same meds since diagnosis & am happy with where things are. Maybe talk to your dr about changing dosages or meds if you're truly miserable. It couldn't hurt to ask, right?

 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2013, 11:32 AM   #6
Newbie
(female)
 
malakoffmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 3
malakoffmom HB User
Re: Missing the old me

Quick post to say YES, YES, YES.

I agree, and maybe that has something to do with my depression I am having now.
I am glad you started the thread.

Do any of you think that this LOSS OF SELF has lead to any depression for you?

 
Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2013, 12:36 PM   #7
Newbie
(female)
 
mom18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3
mom18 HB User
Re: Missing the old me

Loss of my "old" life and the "old" me most definitely contributes to deepening my depression when I'm in a depressive eposide. I feel useless, stupid, like a burden, and I most definitely recognize my neurological deficits. When I'm stable, I can handle it. I've made index cards where I put the negative feelings on one side, and a reframe of that thought on the back. i.e. "I'm never going to get better, and I'll never stop feeling depressed. I'm so hopeless". On back: "This feels really awful, but it's just a feeling. I've gotten through these feelings and felt better before, and I will do it sgain".

 
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to mom18 For This Useful Post:
malakoffmom (04-30-2013)
Old 04-19-2013, 07:53 PM   #8
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 4
kathaudrey HB User
Re: Missing the old me

I've been on my meds for 7 years now. At this point, the me-on-meds is the only me. When I first went on them I remember feeling fuzzy all the time, I thought slower, I ate alllll the time (I gained 10 lbs!), and I became sort of "blah." I'm sure this doesn't make you feel better, but I know that I cannot function at all without my meds. In the grand scheme of things, it seemed a small price to pay and I adjusted within a couple months. And if it helps... I don't think I'm blah now, I think it was just in comparison to the wild mood swings I used to experience.

 
Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2013, 09:53 AM   #9
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Phoenix AZ
Posts: 1
tjmom12 HB User
Re: Missing the old me

Oh my. This discussion is one of my goals. Who am I now? This flat affect is so not me. Sure there are moments of the old me, but it seems that my creativity is gone. I used to make quilts and handbags. Not any more. I look at my machines and get depressed and want to crawl into bed. The best way that I can describe it as I feel stuck. I need the 'cattleprod' to get housekeeping done. I'd rather run out of food and eat bread and butter than go to the store. Lets not forget the lithium shakes that make threading a needle near impossible (pdoc laughed at threading a needle). I was medicated incorrectly for years for depression. Does anyone know if antidepressants can cause cognitive problems, problem solving abilities? I feel dumber than a box of rocks.

 
Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2013, 07:09 PM   #10
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NC, USA
Posts: 5
circlesanddots HB User
Re: Missing the old me

I'm still waiting for the creativity to come back, it comes in spells... it is getting better and I've had my diagnosis for almost 4 years now...

 
Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2013, 09:24 AM   #11
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Dallas
Posts: 2
silverring7 HB User
Re: Missing the old me

I am right where you all are as well. I was diagnosed in 1994 and still haven't been able to get back to my old creative self. Most days I stay in my room, I do none of the things that used to make me so happy. I was feeling really upset about this when I found this outlet. WHAT DO WE DO??? I know I can't go off meds. No way. I'd kill myself for sure. My 17 year old son died from an overdose August 2011 an d it's gotten worse than ever. It's like I'm afraid if I leave the house something bad is going to happen I don't know. Cant get myself to go to therapy or groups either, just show up to see the psych and get my meds and get back home asap. I used to be in bands, I sang commercials for TV and radio, I sketched and painted. ALL that stopped in 1994.

 
Reply With Quote
Reply Reply




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Abilify
Depakote
Lamictal
Lexapro
Lithium
  Prozac
Seroquel
Wellbutrin
Zoloft
Zyprexa




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



reesie (68), katlin09 (59), Administrator (24), TinoRock (14), bprapcyc (10), thatgirl141 (7), lynnlee (6), annii456 (4), ghelpmelivelife (4), goody2shuz (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (670), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:54 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!