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Old 07-12-2004, 05:19 PM   #1
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Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

is it a good idea to give birth control pills to a 15 yr old teen without telling her, making her think they are vitamins..the reason is because this teen has threatened to get preagnant.

 
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Old 07-12-2004, 07:07 PM   #2
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

You need to discuss it with her doctor. There could be health issues that arent known and BC pills could cause problems. You can talk with the doctor without her present and let him/her know your concern and see if he/she can help you.
Another thing is you can go to your local planned parenthood clinic and talk with them. They might be able to help you in sowing the teen that being a parent isnt all it is cracked up to be. There are dolls that are used to teach teens that babies are alot of work. The PP clinic might have those available.
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Old 07-12-2004, 07:44 PM   #3
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JS22
is it a good idea to give birth control pills to a 15 yr old teen without telling her, making her think they are vitamins..the reason is because this teen has threatened to get preagnant.
I'd say no. What if, unbenownst to you, she was already on the pill? Then you'd be giving her a double dose of hormones.

 
Old 07-12-2004, 07:47 PM   #4
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoff9600
You need to discuss it with her doctor. There could be health issues that arent known and BC pills could cause problems. You can talk with the doctor without her present and let him/her know your concern and see if he/she can help you.
Do you think a doctor would go along with that, though? That's a planned deception. I doubt a doctor is going to plot with a parent to put her daughter on birth control without her knowledge.

 
Old 07-12-2004, 09:31 PM   #5
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Why is that planned deception?? I simply said she could see if the doctor would help her. I didnt state he should give her the ok to slip BC pills to her. I said the doctor might be able to help her. There are many ways to help such as talking to the teen about the risks pregnancy can have on a teen. Or tak to the teen about BC or discuss why the teen wants a baby or is using it as a threat. The doctor could refer the teen to a therapist to make sure things are worked out that way. The list goes on on how the doctor can help and in no way did I say he/she would help in a deception like that. And actually if the therapist sees a need for it and decides the teen isnt capable of deciding to use BC or not then she can be put on birth control without her knowledge/consent.
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Old 07-13-2004, 06:14 AM   #6
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Wouldn't be a better idea to give her something monthly than something daily? The shot or that kind of stuff? I'm just blubbling... but that way you will be sure she didn't miss any...
And she needs a psyc.... if she is saying she'll get pregnant she's trying to call your attention... take her to therapy!
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Old 07-13-2004, 07:58 AM   #7
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Oh, for the days of a chastity belt...however that used to work.

I'm sorry that your daughter is taking rebellion to such an extreme. I don't have teenagers, so can't address the relationship issue, but I certainly would consult with HER dr about this. The once a month shot would be great, but I still hate to see her hormones messed with at this young age. Any chance you can lock her in her room for 3 years? ;-) I wonder if you can also manipulate her diet so that she won't ovulate. Just thinking here...

 
Old 07-13-2004, 08:13 AM   #8
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

For legal reasons, a doctor may not do this as this is a huge violation of the regulations they must adhere to.

 
Old 07-13-2004, 08:42 AM   #9
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnx
I wonder if you can also manipulate her diet so that she won't ovulate. Just thinking here...
If that worked, why would anyone use artificial birth control methods?

 
Old 07-13-2004, 10:15 AM   #10
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Quote:
is it a good idea to give birth control pills to a 15 yr old teen without telling her, making her think they are vitamins..the reason is because this teen has threatened to get preagnant.
oh my god, no. One of our most fundamental rights, regardless of how old we are is control over our bodies! We scoff at third world countries where women are given tubal ligations and hysterectomies unbeknownst to them in the name of population control but you're proposing to do a similar thing!

But lets just say that you did. And lets just say she found out. How do you think she will feel? I may be going out on a limb here but uhh... humiliated maybe? betrayed? manipulated? angry?

I would advocate trying to find out what the real issue here: control, attention, curiosity of the opposite sex, whatever and trying to resolve that than going this route. Besides, as others have mentioned, you may have a difficult time finding a doc who would be willing to do that for legal reasons.

 
Old 07-13-2004, 02:35 PM   #11
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JS22
is it a good idea to give birth control pills to a 15 yr old teen without telling her, making her think they are vitamins..the reason is because this teen has threatened to get preagnant.
No. It's morally indefensible. When she finds out (and she WILL find out!) you will have destroyed any chance that this child will ever a) believe ANYTHING you have to say and b) trust you.
A much better thing to do, IMHO, is to sit down and figure out why your teen would threaten such a thing in the first place. This is clearly a power struggle (not unusual when teens are involved ) and a wise parent would look NOT to the threat, but to the underlying cause prompting it.
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Old 07-13-2004, 04:53 PM   #12
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

there is a 20 yr old male she is in "love" with...this guy pressures her to get her preagnant so that they may get together/married because I completely prohibit it due to the age and his mentallity and obsession with her and she is totally blinded by him..I try my best to keep her by my side but when school starts I fear she might get out of the school and meet up with him, I've tried therapy and calling the police to speak with her and so on but she believes that she is doing nothing wrong and that she has found her soul mate and she needs to be with him...this guy brainwashed her beyond me and she totally hates us for not letting her be with him and so the best I can do is restrain her at home and protect her from preagnacy with pills in case she were to runaway when my attention is diverted.

Last edited by JS22; 07-13-2004 at 04:56 PM.

 
Old 07-13-2004, 05:08 PM   #13
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JS22
there is a 20 yr old male she is in "love" with...this guy pressures her to get her preagnant so that they may get together/married because I completely prohibit it due to the age and his mentallity and obsession with her and she is totally blinded by him..I try my best to keep her by my side but when school starts I fear she might get out of the school and meet up with him, I've tried therapy and calling the police to speak with her and so on but she believes that she is doing nothing wrong and that she has found her soul mate and she needs to be with him...this guy brainwashed her beyond me and she totally hates us for not letting her be with him and so the best I can do is restrain her at home and protect her from preagnacy with pills in case she were to runaway when my attention is diverted.
Okay, this makes no sense.
First, depending on where you live, her getting pregnant at 15 by at 20 year old will land the man in jail for statutory rape, not married to her.
Second, from another post of yours, you are only 22 years old. This girl is not yours to be worried about, or at least not the way the other posters have assumed (that you are her father). Please don't try to mislead us.
Finally, your logic in the last sentence fails in that if she were to run away, she would no longer be getting the pills and therefore would be able to get pregnant once their effect has worn off.

 
Old 07-13-2004, 05:17 PM   #14
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Oh well now the age of the guy throws the ball in your court so to say. You have some options now. One you can get a restraining order against him.
You can also tell her that if she were to have sex with him he can go to prison. Her age and his age make it illegal for him to have sex with her whether she consents to it or not. This is going to sound harsh but it might shock some sense into her. You can say fine get pregnant by him and then I will have proof that he is a sex offender and put his butt in prison. You can look up your state laws on consent and what happens to sex offenders. Most wind up spending some time in prison,then for the rest of their life where ever he moves to he will have to register with the local police to let them know a sex offender has moved into the area. You can point out that by having sex with him she could be setting him up to wind up in prison and if she loves him so much she wouldnt do that to him. You can try talking to her and saying if they truly love each other then he will wait for her to be a legal adult and then have a relationship.
As for school you can go talk to them and let them know some of what is going on. They should be willing to work with you to protect her. I had one friend who went to school with her daughter every day because she was skipping classes. Then after a couple weeks of that she would stay home but randomly show up at the school to make sure her daughter was there. Worked rather well I must say because the daughter by the end of the year hadnt missed any more classes.

You should know the pill has to be taken every day in order to be effective. If she runs away she wont be taking them correctly and wind up pregnant anyway. Again though you will need to talk to her doctor to see what options are open for you.
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Last edited by Blastoff9600; 07-13-2004 at 05:19 PM.

 
Old 07-14-2004, 01:47 AM   #15
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Re: Birth Control Pills - Harmful?

Well, since you know that she will most likely be with this guy no matter what you say, why not work with her? instead of completely prohibiting it, let her see him once in awhile - trust her a little bit. have him come over for dinner at night.. let them go out to the movies or something on a non school night with friends around. give her some trust, and maybe she wont have to hide things from you. if the only reason she is threatening to get pregnant is to stay with this guy, then try to understand how serious she is about him. i am not in ANY WAY at all saying that it is "RIGHT" but i do have to tell you from my own teenage experience, that shes going to do whatever she has to do in order to feel loved. sorry to say, but kids are vulnerable - especially when she's dating an older man.

my parents are were extremely strict on me when i was younger. i had a boyfriend at 15 (he was 19) and thought he was "the one." well now that im older, i obviously know how stupid i was, but back then i just couldnt see it. since my parents were completely against it, i snuck out every night to see him.. was sexually active.. and totally rebelled. i wish that i was able to talk to my parents. because to tell you the truth, i hated lying to them, and i felt horrible whenever we fought about the problem. a couple of years later, my parents let start dating and its amazing all the things i could talk to them about. try to form some trust with this girl.. its better for her to be able to tell you everything - that way she can willingly take the birth control and she'll even respect your opinion more if you let her go her own way once in awhile. let her know that you are willing to accept that she has a boyfriend, but that it's still give and take. she has to be willing to follow your rules and start out slow. i kind of thing that at this point, even if she doesnt really "love" him, she's probably still gonna stay with him just to prove you wrong. kids will be kids.

good luck

 
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