You have changed and not for the better! You can not even fully see the spectrum of it all. Do you have insight into just how uncontrollable it has really become? Keep on keepin' on until you drop. Your body is rotting and you bleed from orifices you didn't know you had. Yes, you will bleed in many ways.

And you will waste so much time...and life itself.

You grow angrier and more irrational as it goes. You are sullen. You got a glance of it, noticed...

Thought I would write from my journal and maybe it will interest someone. More and more. That is how it alway's must be in that sickness of yours. (I tend to write third person a lot) Perhaps you have not seen a real day in quite some time. Have you forgotten how fresh the breeze blows? Have you taken any walks on a quiet country road?
No. You have lost yourself in that blur of hurry up and waste your life. Notice how you never reach your destination. It was a fleeting idea too hard...