Woke up scared, shaky, nervous. Not the same as yesterday for sure. Although last night sucked...got shaky again, laid around alot, and had a hot flush/flash in bathroom. not long ago i had it out with my 17yr old daughter, ive been keeping this from her so she basicly thinks im a lazy bum. BUT i knew no support would ever come from her so i was sparing her in a way, but i tried to tell her and we got into a fighting match. I told her im trying, and she said im not. I'm sucking off my...

Took a quick drive around the block, and made a phone call.....im very happy with the little things ive done so far today. Tomorrow ill kick it up a notch.... but for now ill do dishes and maybe nap shortly. I just forced a bananna, im just never hungry...i know i need to eat but its so hard!

Welp...today is the day. I'm going to get off my sad pathetic butt, and move, whether I think im deathly ill or not...whether I think I'm going to pass out, fall, make a fool out of myself or whatever. I canceled the Drs. Appt I begged for last Thursday. Well...I just couldnt bare to drive there, let alone look at the car. I should have found a ride. What made me think I could go? Uggg...I feel bad. Oh well. Theres nothing she can really do for me right now anyway, because deep down...