Uggghh....I repeat, hell
After the fight i couldnt breathe very well, but i didnt cry. In fact i got up and started to do stuff, and you know what?!?! I FEEL TERRIBLE! Not like yesterday when i felt like i accomplished something, but just bad even after i cleaned and did stuff... spacy, and i want to just fall down. Feel like im straining my damn heart. I'm finding it so hard to distract myself from anything ! I cant think about my friends...cuz then im upset i cant, or wont c them. If I think about them i think about my ex...and i get VERY VERY upset, because well...i thought he was the one. If i think about applying for a job, its like why? i wont drive to my interview! I think about my heart and maybe i should go get it checked along with my bp, and then its like Nooooooooo.....!!...then i have to drive and walk around. Smoking is not even a relaxer anymore..in fact, i just wanna quit. Really at this point, i dont see how its anxiety, i really dont..... i think its my heart, plain and simple. Not sure what? anything from being horizontal too much, to heart failure....cuz so many things are off. Even my skin color is off... protruding veins, skipping beat.... haha, i dont know anything anymore, but one thing...THIS SUCKS!