Entry #1
Tags anorexia, bulimia, eating disorder recovery, ednos
My name is Beeze, I am 20 years old, and I struggle with anorexia nervosa and bulimia, a.k.a. EDNOS.
I have been putting myself through this miserable journey for almost 5 years now, and quite frankly, I'm sick of it. I want to recover more than anything, and be living the life I know I should be living at this age.
I want a healthy body, and healthy life, and a healthy relationship with food. I want to get trhough school and have a normal life. I want to recover for my boyfriend, for my mom, for my dad, for my brother, my aunts and uncles, my grandma, my boyfriends mom, and everyone else in my life who has expressed their concerns.
I realise most importantly, I need to recover for myself.
I have plans for my future, and I dont want to even consider that if I don't take care of myself, i might never reach my goals.
Even while I say these things though, I can feel and hear my eating disorder screaming at me and telling me these thoughts are useless.
Recognizing I have a problem and actually making the efforts to struggle through it are two completely different things. But I am going to try my hardest.
so, I decided to start a blog. Even if no one reads it or responds, maybe it will give me some sort of accountability.
I know this will probably never fully go away.. One day at a time though.
xoxo Beeze
I have been putting myself through this miserable journey for almost 5 years now, and quite frankly, I'm sick of it. I want to recover more than anything, and be living the life I know I should be living at this age.
I want a healthy body, and healthy life, and a healthy relationship with food. I want to get trhough school and have a normal life. I want to recover for my boyfriend, for my mom, for my dad, for my brother, my aunts and uncles, my grandma, my boyfriends mom, and everyone else in my life who has expressed their concerns.
I realise most importantly, I need to recover for myself.
I have plans for my future, and I dont want to even consider that if I don't take care of myself, i might never reach my goals.
Even while I say these things though, I can feel and hear my eating disorder screaming at me and telling me these thoughts are useless.
Recognizing I have a problem and actually making the efforts to struggle through it are two completely different things. But I am going to try my hardest.
so, I decided to start a blog. Even if no one reads it or responds, maybe it will give me some sort of accountability.
I know this will probably never fully go away.. One day at a time though.
xoxo Beeze
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