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Eating Disorder Recovery

Recovery Diary #1.5

Posted 11-07-2011 at 08:17 PM by roxmysox

Just binged and purged on pasta. This isn't going so well. I think the beans I ate before triggered me to want more, and the bloating did too.
I'm going to try harder tomorrow.
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Recovery Diary #1

Posted 11-07-2011 at 07:00 PM by roxmysox

I've already got a recovery diary, but that's more of a log of food I've eaten (without the calories counted) and how I feel at the end of the day, so I'll keep that separate and just elaborate more on the feelings part.
Today was okay, yesterday was better. I threw up a bit today, and I feel terrible about it, but tomorrow's another day. I saw my boyfriend and we had coffee and talked about stupid stuff and laughed before we both went home.
Thanks to always8 for responding to my...
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Yesterday was bad, hope today is better

Posted 10-26-2010 at 04:57 AM by jcrosser

I just ate and ate yesterday and did absolutely nothing. I had no clients at work and I am glad that I didn't because I felt like a horrible person. I have just been feeling so down on myself lately. I don't know why I go through these periods of self hatred. Is there something wrong with me? I feel depressed, is this depression? I know I would never kill myself, but sometimes I wish I were dead. Sometimes I think I inherited bad mental health genes from my mother (who is schizophrenic)....
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Posted 10-24-2010 at 06:05 PM by jcrosser

My thought for today is that I need more structure in my life. I get so obsessed with food that it just spirals out of control so easily.

I find that when there is something I can do that feels purposeful and is in a controlled environment (i.e. not at home by myself) I can control my eating. However, if I have binged earlier that day, then forget it, the rest of the day is shot. After that, no matter where I go or what I do I think about food.

That is just what...
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Getting Grounded

Posted 10-18-2010 at 09:13 AM by jcrosser

I have never done this posting thing before. I am just trying to have someone or something to talk to. I know now that there are other people who have had similar experiences. That knowledge alone is inspiring and makes me feel NORMAL. It's an amazing concept for me to feel normal.

Anyway, I am ready to talk about my life and I think this is a good place to do it. I just want to find a strong, peaceful and successful human underneath all of this self-doubt and worry that I...
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