Another bad day for me, I can hardly stand it. I don't want to take a muscle relaxer because it will just makes me want to sleep all day and with CFS already beating me down, that would not be good for me. Everyday seems to be a struggle and it is getting worse day by day. Relief, now there is a word I would sure welcome.

My body is in so much pain today that I can barely stand to sit and write this. I will have to try and walk around a bit to try and get relief. It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand and God does it hurt to walk. Sometimes, like today, I feel a bit out of it as well. I feel like I am here but not really hear. Sounds weird I know, but imagine how weird it feels to me. This waiting on a decision for my SSD id excruciating, it's almost as bad as my daily pain. I just feel like my whole world is completely...

Well, I finally had it. I had my first nightmare about all this. They say if your blood sugar is low you are more likely to have a nightmare. And I checked it this morning and it was on the low side. But, the subject of my nightmare shows how this is all affecting me.

I am taking Zoloft for my Fibromyalgia. It has a tendency to stabilize moods and I have not cried at all about my personal crisis. In fact, i think that I am numb. I have anger, resentment, feelings of betrayal...

Well, I may not be writing for awhile. Although, writing about it is probably what I need to do. I'm going through a personal crisis, and will be away for awhile. I have been spending my time reading other's blogs and message board posts searching for help.

You know, sometimes, you are going pretty good for awhile, and even start running and start getting up some speed, then - splat- you get hit in the face with a tire iron. I guess life is like that. It takes you by surprise....

Morning:
1 Zantac
2 puffs Symbicort 80/4.5
Voltaren gel rubbed on knees

Before dinner:
1 puff Asmanex 220
1 Zantac
Voltaren

Bedtime:
Flonase, 2 sprays each nostril
More Voltaren
A little IcyHot on the hips

The Reglan worked, but it seemed to be making my asthma worse. As a last-ditch plan, I've quit taking the nortriptyline. It might possibly help my stomach, and if my stomach gets better,...