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Betrayal and survival

Posted 04-05-2013 at 05:11 PM by Chrisy63
Updated 04-16-2013 at 07:14 AM by Chrisy63 (Spelling, grammar)

Gosh, at 60 I figured we would be looking for a smaller house or condo to live easier. I am 4 years into a drama filled divorce with a husband who has cheated for years. I just found out two years ago how long he cheated and manipulated me into thinking I was losing my mind. Of course he lied about everything. When it all hit the fan I had no idea he had been cheating with this one woman who makes it her life goal to ruin marriages. Mine was her fifth. He made up stories about me taking drugs and falling over, but I fell over from him pushing and shoving. Lucky for me I reported these things to my docs. Bruises and all. He left with an injunction for domestic violence. He moved in with her the second day. He got exactly what he claimed I did. She ate 60 Xanax in 48 hours, drank a case of beer a day, had sex with anyone who gave her cigs, pills, beer, and crack. At first my husband was in lust with her setting up threesomes. Then he realized she did that all day when he was at work. As they say be careful what you ask for. I did some detective work and found her name and her husband. So I went to his house and knocked on his door. She had told him she was living with a gay guy who hated her. But I told him that guy was my husband. So we put our heads together and figured out when where and for how long this was going on. When he told her my husbands name and all his info she freaked and begged to come home as she made a mistake. He said no. For the next four weeks she called on the cell phone when him and I were talking on the land line. He put her on speaker phone and we listened to them fighting. It got ugly and even cops were there with them. They each got arrested twice. While her husband and I sat back and listened. At first I was glad he was getting what he deserved, then it was way too much for me and I would hang up. He had the nerve after the divorce was filed to take out 10K from OUR 401K to pay an attorney to get him out of jail and the second domestic violence arrest. The judge said he was in contempt of court. That went nowhere, until we go to court next month. Through this I went to a church, had support, and continued on my own spiritual journey. I know now my husband has numerous sociopathic characteristics and years of our marriage was nothing more than fraud. I have suffered with some STD's that he would blame on me... And I am diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and panic attacks. When he speaks, he lies. It is hard to grasp that all these years have been a lie, it stole my confidence, and it even stole me. I am finding myself one day at a time. Each day is different. I have a great bunch of friends that are loving and patient. The worse part that I suffer with is that he had tried 3 times to make plans to kill me with this other woman. She wanted to kill me and her own husband. I live alone, have major locks and booby traps for my safety. Until we get to a mediation and court, I live carefully. The sad thing is I am one of thousands of women living in this type of fear. What I have written is true, I have documents to show the court, in my husbands own handwriting he had made some plans to harm or kill me. I want anyone who has survived this one thing to help me get through these fear memories. Otherwise when I am with friends and I feel safe I can be myself. I love the ways of my spiritual learning and friends. It's all about forgiveness, that one is hard for me knowing what he was planning. But, I will survive and be the person I know in my heart.
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