How My Health Is Changing My Life - Part 4
I did a VEP test, at my own request, during which my neurologist came in to look at the results and yelled at me for "not trying hard enough". Maybe I misunderstood the test, but my only job should have been to watch the red dot in the middle of the screen very carefully. Once again, I felt ashamed for "failing" to be as well as my doctors thought I should be, but there was nothing I could do to do any better. I was also angry at my neurologist for making me feel this way. How is any of this my fault??
Trying not to get my hopes up, I went to see the new neurologist. I was so pleased when he actually listened to me! Yay! Not only did he listen, he looked somewhat alarmed that symptoms such as mine were not being examined any further (although he very professionally never said a negative word about my first neuro). He asked me if I would be willing to come to his hospital and "complete" my testing. This brings me up to today.
I'm waiting for the call that the hospital has found a spot for me. I've never been more nervous about an exam in my whole life as I am nervous about the lumbar puncture. But, I'm ready to do what I have to do. I will also redo my brain MRI and will have a C-Spine and T-Spine MRI with it this time.
As much as I dread spending more time in the hospital, I feel a little bit of hope taking root that this time I could find the answers to what all of this is about. And hopefully get my life back!