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I only have 1 "off line" friend

Posted 08-29-2010 at 06:06 PM by hsp1

It is a miserable feeling.
I have a super hard time making friends, I dunno if it cause of my BPD (borderline). Anyway, I think that my only friend uses me sometimes cause she knows that I have a hard time making friends. SO she feels that she can be nasty to me when ever she wants. SHe knows that I don't work, cant make friends easily and I have a huge phobia of driving so she plays on that, this is what I think. It shows in her attitude towards me. Every time someone suggest that I find a support group she gets really upset and ask me if I am really going to go through with that.
I also think that she has Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) because she gets really upset with me if I am talking to my friends online or if I am not feeling sorry for her when she is sick.
I have known her now for 17 years.
She is also obsessed with this actor and expects me to like him like she does, and I don't. I am not going to change who I am just to please her.
My only prayer is that I find a job where I can meet people like me. I also pray to find a doctor who can help me to get over my social phobia and to help me deal with my BPD.
I really hope and pray to find friends who genuly care for me and not take advantage of me, I really do!
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