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Things are turning downward...

Posted 11-13-2010 at 12:16 AM by hsp1
Updated 11-13-2010 at 08:30 AM by hsp1

I have not been here in a while.
Just the short of everything.
First my parents did not wish me a happy b-day and this has been the first time in my life that they did something this horrible.
Second, a message board that I go to has this one girl who was my friend once and started to leave me out now that she is "popular". I think that this girl is spreading gossip about me. Something about her seems very caniving too (she knows how to get people to like her and...
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I left...just could not take the anxiety...

Posted 09-05-2010 at 05:00 AM by hsp1 I ran away from it, the anxiety and the fear that others on that board will reject me because of this girl that I think blew me off. So I left, I can't deal with more rejections.
BTW all of this is explained in my previous blog entry.
On top of that my best friend said that she will go into work late for me so that I don't have to be alone and feel depressed and lonely because she has to work another grueling long mid day shift. Now she found out that she is gonig to get...
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I only have 1 "off line" friend

Posted 08-29-2010 at 06:06 PM by hsp1

It is a miserable feeling.
I have a super hard time making friends, I dunno if it cause of my BPD (borderline). Anyway, I think that my only friend uses me sometimes cause she knows that I have a hard time making friends. SO she feels that she can be nasty to me when ever she wants. SHe knows that I don't work, cant make friends easily and I have a huge phobia of driving so she plays on that, this is what I think. It shows in her attitude towards me. Every time someone suggest that I...
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Got rejected again.

Posted 08-11-2010 at 12:05 PM by hsp1
Updated 08-15-2010 at 10:38 AM by Administrator

Yes I do think I have BPD (Boarderline Personality Disorder) I have many of those characteristics/traits.
I am so blessed that I can blog here on how I feel.
I love the new features too. I hope to post more on this forum than I did in the past.
Anyway rejection is hard, I have been rejected by my own mother and father (who never wanted kids in the first place) and by many of my peers and co-workers. I guess that is part of life and who I am.

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