I have not been here in a while.
Just the short of everything.
First my parents did not wish me a happy b-day and this has been the first time in my life that they did something this horrible.
Second, a message board that I go to has this one girl who was my friend once and started to leave me out now that she is "popular". I think that this girl is spreading gossip about me. Something about her seems very caniving too (she knows how to get people to like her and...

I am in my 30's I am single, never been in love. I don't drive cause of a major phobia. I live in a rural area. I don't work cause of my mental disorder. I have to wait for the state (social services) to see what kind of service that they can provide for me.
I have only one just one offline friend. But she only likes me if I talk about her favorite actor that she is so obsessed with. She wants me to like him like she does. And if I don't she will see to it that my life is miserable....

....so I ran away from it, the anxiety and the fear that others on that board will reject me because of this girl that I think blew me off. So I left, I can't deal with more rejections.
BTW all of this is explained in my previous blog entry.
On top of that my best friend said that she will go into work late for me so that I don't have to be alone and feel depressed and lonely because she has to work another grueling long mid day shift. Now she found out that she is gonig to get...

First remember that online friend I have talked about in my blogs well she offically blew me off cause she found better. This has happened to me all my life, first my parents and then my peers and then co-workers and now this person. It deeply hurts to no end. Why do people even bother talking to me in the first place, I am a LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On top of that I had a loss, I know that this is going to sound strange but I lost I guess you could say a pet. Let me explain:...

It is a miserable feeling.
I have a super hard time making friends, I dunno if it cause of my BPD (borderline). Anyway, I think that my only friend uses me sometimes cause she knows that I have a hard time making friends. SO she feels that she can be nasty to me when ever she wants. SHe knows that I don't work, cant make friends easily and I have a huge phobia of driving so she plays on that, this is what I think. It shows in her attitude towards me. Every time someone suggest that I...