Family seem to have little understanding
Updated 03-06-2010 11:59 PM by Administrator (checking color code)
For the rest of my family its like [I][COLOR="Red"]trying to[/COLOR] [COLOR="DarkOrange"]explain[/COLOR] [COLOR="Olive"]color to[/COLOR] [COLOR="Green"]a person[/COLOR][COLOR="Blue"] born[/COLOR] [COLOR="Purple"]blind.[/COLOR][/I] They can logically grasp what I am saying, but can't fully relate not having the experience. By the same token, I know I can only imagine what my dad is experiencing with his MS but I read the MS boards so I can attempt to relate better.
Point is beyond those of us experiencing the same conditions, [B][I]to the rest of the world its an [COLOR="Indigo"]alien[/COLOR] concept.[/I][/B] Like a language that only we speak. Same goes for depression or any other aliment you can't relate to without experiencing. Everyone can probably relate to having a cold or toothache or scraps and cuts or even a strained muscle or sprained ligament... because most everyone has experienced it.
[U][B]So accept that your family can not understand your condition and ask that they trust your word and empathize to what ever degree they can.[/B][/U]
The summer before last my mom asked me to help out in the yard trimming some shrubs. She understood I have limited range of motion and limits in lifting. Somehow I turned/twisted/positioned myself the wrong way and my back objected by going into a series of muscle spasms that lasted over half an hour. So there I was with my shirt off so I could use it as a pillow laying on my stomach as she watched my back [I][B][COLOR="Blue"]"ripple in waves of spasms"[/COLOR] [/B](her words)[/I] each muscle contracting independently of the others for over 30 mins. She still doesn't [B]"understand"[/B] my condition but that image has stuck in her mind and made an impact so that she is willing to listen to a greater degree.
Still my family (dad, oldest brother, mother) insisted that I walk regularly contrary to my doctor's instructions. My oldest brother said I should get a letter from my doctor explaining that walking was bad for me which my doctor laughed off as folly. This year I got letters explaining my disability to Vocational Rehab and Mass Transit ADA Policy Director, of course my doctor was willing to write these as they were needed for governmental agencies. Still it took me writing a draft of each letter to convey what each government agency needed to hear. Which my doctor then rewrote. Even with these letters my family failed to accept my word that walking was "bad excercise" for me until I permitted my mother to speak directly with my doctor and he told her directly.
I guess where I am going with all this is don't set your expectations too high when it comes to your family [B]"understanding"[/B]. Best I can advise is to refer them to these boards and let them do some reading. That's probably the only way they are going to get an [B]objective[/B] understanding of your condition. All other communications, unless it comes from a doctor, [B][I] is going to be subjective and colored by your family's experience with you.[/I][/B]
Posted 04-01-2010 at 07:27 PM by Janaly
Ever seen the movie Marathon Man with Dustin Hoffman?
Posted 04-05-2010 at 03:03 AM by Myofascial Pain
Posted 04-10-2010 at 10:46 AM by bullymom