I've been in this "funk" if you will,for over 7 years now.
I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.
There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.
For instance,i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy,the worse.
Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.
Wow;there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.
There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.
For instance,i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy,the worse.
Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.
Wow;there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
There's Always More
Posted 08-08-2012 at 06:42 AM by Phoenix
I am often left asking myself:"what next can happen to me?"
For whatever reason,my questions always seems to be met with an answer.
It leaves me feeling as if I must hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
As I look back at my life,I am caught up contemplating whether or not I would do things different,if I had the chance to.
The "generic" answer is "no,I wouldn't change a thing."
The honest version is a tad more complicated than the two definitives.
Sure,i'd take back all the inadvertent hurt that I may have caused those close to me.......
I'll just leave it at that.
To those who casually say that life is what you make it but haven't been through rigid trials and tribulations,I hear you but for the record,it's rather difficult when all around you seems to be lacking of positivity.
The answer is usually,"change your location." That's all well and good for those who can afford such a change but when you're virtually stuck in a situation that provides no solutions but creates indefinite questions,what does one do?
Well,my answer to that is look deep inside yourself and search,search and search some more,for a few answers.
There has to be an answer for every question;whether or not I like the response is a different matter entirely.
For whatever reason,my questions always seems to be met with an answer.
It leaves me feeling as if I must hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
As I look back at my life,I am caught up contemplating whether or not I would do things different,if I had the chance to.
The "generic" answer is "no,I wouldn't change a thing."
The honest version is a tad more complicated than the two definitives.
Sure,i'd take back all the inadvertent hurt that I may have caused those close to me.......
I'll just leave it at that.
To those who casually say that life is what you make it but haven't been through rigid trials and tribulations,I hear you but for the record,it's rather difficult when all around you seems to be lacking of positivity.
The answer is usually,"change your location." That's all well and good for those who can afford such a change but when you're virtually stuck in a situation that provides no solutions but creates indefinite questions,what does one do?
Well,my answer to that is look deep inside yourself and search,search and search some more,for a few answers.
There has to be an answer for every question;whether or not I like the response is a different matter entirely.
Posted in Addiction & Recovery, Depression, Pain Management, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anger Management
Views 127
Comments 2 Total Comments 2
Comments
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You are such a strong person Phoenix. You do have your fair share of crap to deal with and yet you have always sent well wishes my way in the midst of it all. You have been and will remain in my thoughts.Posted 08-08-2012 at 03:45 PM by Arianna2
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Thank you Pamela.
I'm trying to take the good with the bad because life in general is based upon circumstances.
All we can try to do is keep our head up amongst all the turmoil.Posted 03-31-2013 at 08:04 AM by Phoenix
