I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.
There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.
For instance,i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy,the worse.
Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.
Wow;there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
A Wake Up Call
Lo and behold,I see a woman sleeping in front of a library and she had something that resembled a child's bassinet.
As she wasn't facing me,I can't really say with 100% surety that there was a child with her.
I was so torn by what I saw,that I didn't have the heart to call the authorities.
It was a wake up call for me;to be grateful for what I do have.
I don't know the woman's plight but nonetheless one could tell that things weren't going well for her.
For a brief moment,I wasn't thinking about my pain and psychological disorders......
I just hoped for better things to come into her life.
I tend to concentrate,or obsess(if you will) over my issues way too much for my own liking because there's no on and off switch in my brain.
She was a most unfortunate distraction for me.
This woman(I was thinking to myself) is probably someone's mother.
It was sad.........I'll just leave it at that.
I came home and sat down on my couch;looked around and realized that I have to learn to be nicer to myself.
My anger is beginning to kick in again and i'd rather not express it at the moment.