I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.
There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.
For instance,i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy,the worse.
Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.
Wow;there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
Waking The Sleeping Giant To Open The Flood Gates
The movie that plays over and over in my mind has wound me up yet again(Hello Mr.Klonopin).
I can't get the thought of the accident and all its' subcomponents out of my head.
Why can't I seem to go forward,without feeling i'm taking two steps back?
I've had an eating disorder before but never 7 years straight nor in intensity of sometimes up to ten times a day.
This accident has opened the flood gates to all of my other issues and it makes for a very confusing existence.
My life isn't productive,from an occupational point of view.
Where did all that potential go to?
No one can dispute that 2000-2005 were my most productive years.I compare them with now and am floored with a feeling that i'm cloaked in failure.
Rage fuels me like gas does autos.
Why can't people admit they're in the wrong? This case would've been over a lot sooner.
I am lone in this,as my attorney needs space to do whatever is necessary to bring the case closer to a conclusion.
I understand they have a job to do but I did nothing wrong but explain how the darn thing happened in the first place.
Insurance is there to protect you or your company,if there are any unforseen circumstances that arise.
Seven years later? Really?
I know way too much about the inner workings of insurance companies and I don't like it.
If this goes to trial(as i'm assuming it will) words will be twisted,taken out of context and the like.
The defense isn't my friend and will try to make me look as bad as the can.
All this,and i'm the one in the right...sheesh!