I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.
There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.
For instance,i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy,the worse.
Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.
Wow;there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
My First Positive Blog-At Least An Attempt
Updated 08-25-2012 03:15 AM by Phoenix
Do you know what it takes to be positive in a blog,when the greater part of you wants to be negative?
Well,I hope you never get to that point;where you have a crises of more than conscience but also disorders.
I want to tell whomever will read this,that i'm trying extremely hard to place a positive a spin on this;after all,there are those who do this for a living.
This is where it stops.
No one can buy me because i'm not for sale.......
That's where the negativity ends.
I have started on a path that I have to travel alone.I thank all the friends that i've made over the time. They know me and my true intention here.
I'm not leaving but just changing;evolving,if you will,for the betterment of my being.
I am not ready to forgive others as of yet but am daily learning to be easier on myself,in increments.
If I don't protect myself,life will have me succumb to a vortex from the past;of drugs and missed opportunities,which will leave me lost.
I won't reveal everything;not even a magician reveals all his secrets;the easy ones maybe but definitely not his signature trademarks.
Strongly posted with affirmation