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I've been in this "funk" if you will,for over 7 years now.

I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.

There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.

For instance,i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy,the worse.

Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.

Wow;there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
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Seven shades of miserable part III

Posted 12-12-2012 at 11:40 AM by Phoenix

This weekend was by far the worse i've had yet.
Continuous vomiting and feelings of aches and nausea.If I wasn't sure that this too shall pass,i'd backslide in a minute.Thank goodness that's not the case.
As i'm not sleeping as much,i've gotten more time to do a few constructive things.
My muscles tense up at a moments notice and stiffen,which I usually try to do some light stretching to alleviate the problem.
When that doesn't work,it's right back in the bed,after ingesting a sports drink.
When I feel like this,isolation becomes a much needed companion.It is there for me when I need to meditate,try self-hypnosis and even when I listen to the gospel music channel.
My psychiatrist suggested that I taper at a detox.Thanks but no thanks doctor.
I see his point clearly and if I feel the need(if this situation gets the better of me)then I will seriously explore the option.
Right now,I could be worse and that's a testament to my psychological state of being.
I just have to remember that I can and will overcome this;in time.......
Which moves at its own pace.
Total Comments 2

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Arianna2's Avatar
    One thing I can say Phoenix.. where you are now won't last too much longer. The harshest part is the first few weeks.

    You are really doing well. When I got to the part you were at, I was at the doc asking for something to take to stop the madness. You are so strong, my friend.

    And if need be, you have to seek outside help??? Well, then it is what it is, you will persevere.
    permalink
    Posted 12-12-2012 at 12:27 PM by Arianna2 Arianna2 is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Phoenix's Avatar
    Pamela,

    Don't I know it;nothing lasts forever.
    All I can do is try;right?

    (Apologies for the late response;was unaware of a response feature.)
    permalink
    Posted 03-31-2013 at 08:06 AM by Phoenix Phoenix is offline
    Updated 03-31-2013 at 03:59 PM by Phoenix
 

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