I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.
There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.
For instance,i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy,the worse.
Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.
Wow;there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
Revenge Is A Dish Best Served by Someone Else
When I look back at all my deeds and misdeeds;the good,bad and ugly,I am faced with a few complex questions:
1) Who am I?
2) What do I want out of life?
3) Where can I find true happiness?
4) Once I locate it,how do I keep from misplacing this priceless gem?
The answers lie within,as this work in progress looks forward to bigger and brighter prospects.
If I had to describe myself,it would be similar to a caged bird that nature intended otherwise.
There is not much that I want from life but to be able to position myself to help others,in different ways,shapes and forms.
True happiness;now that's a concept for the ages.
In order for me to be happy;genuinely.................
I would need to know that I truly helped others,to the best of my ability and made a difference doing so.
Am I perfect;not by a long shot and when it comes to life(no matter what i've experienced) I tend to still have more questions than answers.
That will have to suffice for now,as there is still much work to be done.