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I've been in this "funk" if you will,for over 7 years now.

I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.

There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.

For instance,i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy,the worse.

Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.

Wow;there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
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Old

I Should've Seen It Coming

Posted 04-03-2013 at 01:33 AM by Phoenix (Getting Out Of A Funk)

At this point, I should've known better but some innate,unresolved childhood insecurity still left in me,caused this.

Let me rewind this a little....

Early February of this year,I decided to enter into the world of stocks.
I explained this to my father and explained to him that I did the research and all but was met with "be careful" then and every time since.

One of my picks is outperforming the rest,so I had to share this with my father,right?...
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Revenge Is A Dish Best Served by Someone Else

Posted 04-02-2013 at 12:12 AM by Phoenix (Getting Out Of A Funk)

I thought to myself that the most effective way to prove others wrong is by actions;words tend to come off as empty gestures (depending upon the circumstance).
When I look back at all my deeds and misdeeds;the good,bad and ugly,I am faced with a few complex questions:

1) Who am I?
2) What do I want out of life?
3) Where can I find true happiness?
4) Once I locate it,how do I keep from misplacing this priceless gem?

The answers lie within,as...
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Seven shades of miserable part VI

Posted 12-19-2012 at 03:48 AM by Phoenix (Getting Out Of A Funk)
Updated 12-23-2012 at 01:48 AM by Phoenix

A famous person once said:"You can live as if nothing is a miracle;you can live as if everything is a miracle."
There's something to what he said then,which I choose to include now.
Slowly but surely,i've noticed that my ideas are shifting towards the positive aspect of life in general.
The bigger picture is slowly coming into focus and envisioning its' counter-part,the smaller has become an attainable goal.
All I ever wanted to do was free myself from the shackles...
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Seven shades of miserable part V

Posted 12-17-2012 at 02:34 AM by Phoenix (Getting Out Of A Funk)
Updated 12-17-2012 at 09:46 PM by Phoenix

I glanced over part IV and realize that I just let my mind run,which is ok.It's a testament to how I was feeling at the time.
Yesterday I attended mass and once service had ended,as the parishioners were leaving,I did something.I proceeded to make the sign of the cross and went up to the altar.Atop,there was a cross with Jesus' image adorned.I proceeded to touch the wounded areas of the image and then my specific points of pain.Now it wasn't the first and by no means the last time I will...
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Son Of A Blog!!!!!

Posted 08-23-2012 at 11:59 AM by Phoenix (Getting Out Of A Funk)
Updated 08-24-2012 at 10:53 AM by Phoenix

Just when I thought I was getting somewhere blogging,things began to backfire.
It takes way too much energy for me to post and I end up drained.

I actually have come to the realization that this has never really been about the views(even though it was nice to know a few people were paying attention).
My inability to continue blogging on a daily basis doesn't bring me down as much as I thought it would.
I have come to the realization that I have to do things at...
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