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I've been in this "funk" if you will,for over 7 years now.

I have come to realize that life has to be complicated for me,for it seems to be a distraction at points,from my daily ailments.

There is this intense anger felt inside,which I must admit,has gotten the better of me and my relationship with my family members.
I realize that my decisions have paved the way towards my current destination.
PTSD and Depression,along with chronic pain,for me,brings about anger but it doesn't simply end there.
I'm not about to make this a pity blog but I have to get this out to move forward.
When I say i've "been there and done that," i'm not bragging but simply stating i've been through more than my fair share of unfortunate situations.

For instance,i'm in pain right now and working through it while typing this.It actually feels like i'm in a boxing match with myself.The healthy part wants the best and the unhealthy,the worse.

Unfortunately for me,there's no on or off switch for what ails me,so i'm going to try something different.
This morning I used my phone's camera to take a few pictures.
One of them I even used to change my avatar.

Wow;there's actually more fight in this dog than i've given myself credit for.
Mental Health

I Should've Seen It Coming

Posted 04-03-2013 02:33 AM by Phoenix

At this point, I should've known better but some innate,unresolved childhood insecurity still left in me,caused this.

Let me rewind this a little....

Early February of this year,I decided to enter into the world of stocks.
I explained this to my father and explained to him that I did the research and all but was met with "be careful" then and every time since.

One of my picks is outperforming the rest,so I had to share this with my father,right?...
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A Revelation(of sorts)

Posted 03-10-2013 09:18 AM by Phoenix

It's been a while since I posted here and there's so much to be said but i'll keep this concise and to the point.
I've finally found something that makes sense to me and not one of my family members is behind me in my endeavor.
I'm told i'll lose money and am tired of the constant:"be careful" along with offering me their own advice.
What I need to do,for me,is to venture out on my own and do what I feel comfortable enough doing.
Nothing ventured,nothing gained....
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Going To Miss My Therapist

Posted 11-18-2012 08:48 AM by Phoenix
Updated 11-18-2012 08:58 AM by Phoenix

Nothing lasts forever and I feel that it's slowly running its' course.
There were good times and not so good.
Through it all,I learned a lot about myself.
I look back at therapy as a whole;the places i've been and the things I had to endure.
I'm a better person for it.
For the first time in years,I am beginning to see light,not yet knowing how far away I am from the end of my tunnel but that's alright for me,for now.
Things are beginning to happen for me,in...
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Using Safe Place Imagery (The Condensed Version)

Posted 11-18-2012 01:49 AM by Phoenix
Updated 11-18-2012 09:06 AM by Phoenix

I remember the first time my therapist told me about safe place imagery.To tell the truth,I didn't pay it much mind;primarily because I couldn't envision a place that I could truly call "safe."
It took quite some time for me to even close my eyes in her presence.
Once I was able to envision places,they were dark and dungeon-like in appearance;if not totally dark.
I noticed a place in my apartment that I could call reasonably safe and used that image for a while but...
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The Hunger Within

Posted 10-26-2012 12:57 AM by Phoenix
Updated 10-27-2012 12:43 AM by Phoenix

I have come to realize that I possess a certain "hunger" within myself,which creates a driving force to help me maintain life on the straight and narrow.

It's interesting that I used the word "hunger" because there is very little that motivates me and I must hold on to that which is offered me.

I want to be a friend to others but it's rather difficult when a person possesses unresolved trust issues.

I want so much right now;not in...
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