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Still Here

Posted 12-21-2010 at 08:52 PM by Searchin




I don't even know what to write. Yes, I am still here. I am still struggling with my addiction but I think I am about to bring it to a close. At least I hope so.

I gave someone some advice earlier and I really think it would be to my advantage to follow my own advice for a change.

I hope to write the next time that I am on at least Day 7 but there I go projecting instead of staying in the now.
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Journal of Addiction

Posted 11-19-2010 at 02:24 PM by Searchin


It has been a little while since I posted here. I am about three days clean. I made it seven days, used, clean two days and then used again. This stuff, meth, is a b---h. I can quit I keep telling myself. But a lot of the time I don't care about any of it. That is my addiction talking to me! So, I guess I will write from my journal and hope that it might help someone else.

They will plead, beg, and guilt trip you. If only you would come out and see yourself the way we see...
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Journal of Addiction: Number One

Posted 11-04-2010 at 09:11 PM by Searchin



You have changed and not for the better! You can not even fully see the spectrum of it all. Do you have insight into just how uncontrollable it has really become? Keep on keepin' on until you drop. Your body is rotting and you bleed from orifices you didn't know you had. Yes, you will bleed in many ways.

And you will waste so much time...and life itself.

You grow angrier and more irrational as it goes. You are sullen. You got a glance of it, noticed...
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My Journal of Addiction: Number one

Posted 11-03-2010 at 12:44 PM by Searchin
Updated 11-20-2010 at 08:01 PM by Administrator

So, was it good? A question often asked. What's good about it? Can any part of drugs be deemed good? Some would say yes, but only those who have not seen hell yet. Deeper and deeper and more maniacal it becomes. Poisoned thoughts and poisoned veins. The sicker it becomes the more you like it. So you fall in love for awhile and when the break up comes it's oh, so hard and twisted and ill. You've forgotten where you started and you know you just cannot forsee an end.
One day it knocked at your
...
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My Journal of Addiction: Number one

Posted 11-03-2010 at 12:37 PM by Searchin


Ever go scuba diving? Now that is a real high. That is freedom. Nothing in btween you and the great ocean but a mask, an oxygen tank and some fins. The ebb and tide of the water pulling and pushing you...now that's an addiction I'd like to keep.
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