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My journal of addiction:number one

Posted 11-02-2010 at 11:35 PM by Searchin

Thought I would write from my journal and maybe it will interest someone. More and more. That is how it alway's must be in that sickness of yours. (I tend to write third person a lot) Perhaps you have not seen a real day in quite some time. Have you forgotten how fresh the breeze blows? Have you taken any walks on a quiet country road?
No. You have lost yourself in that blur of hurry up and waste your life. Notice how you never reach your destination. It was a fleeting idea too hard to concentrate on. There you stand, sit, or squat in one position and it has been hours since you moved at all. Another wasted day in your taunted ways of addiction.
Then...I am trying to think. When did I sleep last? I know I have been up for at least forty-eight hours. Oh to have regular insomnia again but this was chemically-induced, no question.I don't think I saw one sunny day this summer. Only from a glance through a dirty window and could not make myself go outside.
The summer of meth and I am so pale. I lost myself in that blur of hurry up and do more dope. Hurry up and hallucinate more likely. Hurry up and waste what you have left of a life. Running yet never reaching a destination. It was a fleeting idea too hard to grasp.
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