WATCHOUT!

Back in early August, 2004 I developed serious pain in my rectum...I experienced pain in the past, briefly but always attributed it to hemeroids. After having kids, I figured hemeroids went with the territory. So over a period of weeks I bought every kind of over the counter stuff you could buy, Preperation- H, Anusol, ***** Hazel, Peroxide, Desitin, Vaseline, A & D Ointment, Antifungal Cream, Neosporin, Nupracainal and Hydrocortisone Cream to name a few...I figured SOMETHING had to heal this problem. I was not about to give up...the pain was so intense that I slowly but surely ended up having no life. I finally got up the nerve to make an appointment with my general practioner a month later...fortunately my regular doctor wasn't in, so I saw her associate. I was so embarrased, but I couldn't take it any longer. She looked at me and told me she thought I might have a thrombosed external hemeroid and gave me some steroid cream and a name of a good rectal and colon surgeon if the problem didn't resolve itself. I went home "thinking" that I could FIX this thing..I put on the ointment and had to run into the shower because I felt like my rear end was on fire...I sat in the bathroom crying because I couldn't understand HOW a hemeroid could hurt THIS Bad. By this time, I could no longer leave the house at all....the pain was so horrible and going to the bathroom was only furthering the agony...ripping me up each and every time and leaving me in intense pain for up to 10 hours after a bowel movement. (And to top it off.. I have IBS after losing my Gallbladder, so I run to the bathroom a-lot) I finally decided to go see a General surgeon I knew who had done quite a few surgeries on a lot of my family members and who lived a short drive from my house (good for me, since I couldn't sit in the car very long)..he really did a great job for all of them so I thought maybe he could help, plus his secretary told me that they fixed thrombosed hemeroids in the office if that was what it was...so I thought I had to try to do SOMETHING...this PAIN was ruining my life. Well to make a very long story short..this surgeon turned out to tell me that I needed major surgery down there...his opinion of my situation...very, very bleak....he said, I had internal AND external hemroids, a tight sphincter muscle, a very large fissure and that he wanted to remove all the hemeroids, cut my sphincter muscle to make it "roomier" and cut out and fix the fissure.. The nurse there (a real nut case) told me that they wanted to do the surgery immediately since I wasn't going to get any better and that I should expect great pain with this operation for at least 3-5 weeks and that they also expected me to call the office crying in horrible, horrible pain and that was something I just had to DEAL with...I was shocked to say the least...this nurse was so mean, so unprofessional and had to be mentally ill. She had no compassion at all. I left the office in tears, not only because of her harsh words, but also because they examined me in the worst way...jamming instruments and fingers into an already sensitive place. I went home and felt such hopelessness and didn't know what to do. By this time I had been experiencing this problem for over 2 1/2 months and figured I probably had to do this surgery and be in agony for the 3-5 weeks or be this way possibly forever. I wasn't getting any better so I scheduled the surgery....as I went to do the pre-operation stuff...blood test and EKG...(I have an overactive thyroid and fast heartbeat so they had to just check to make sure my heart was ok) I started having SERIOUS doubts about doing this surgery. I kept thinking, what kind of life am I going to have IF I have this surgery. I have kids, so I couldn't imagine being laid up in bed for another month on top of everything...plus I kept thinking...WHY was that nurse so mean...here I was in excruciating pain and she seemed happy that I was that way...I ended up canceling the surgery AGAINST this nurses opposition. She tried to tell my spouse that if I didn't get the surgery that day that the doctor couldn't schedule it again until three weeks later, even though I had just scheduled the surgery two days before and his schedule was wide open..he even told me..that it was easy to get the surgery rescheduled if need be.... I was so relieved to NOT have this guy do the surgery so I spent the next weekend with courageous detemination that I was going to do try the natural way of fixing all these problems, hot sitz baths, a diet high in fiber, stool softners and anything else that I could think of to give myself a fighting chance. I spent an entire weekend on the internet looking for my miracle cure...I was desperate! In the meantime, I made another appointment with the Rectal and Colon Doctor, that I was referred to earlier in the month...I figured why not get a second opinion..it couldn't be any worse then this last smuck. I didn't hold out much hope that they could do anything, but they got me in the next day after I called, so I figured I had nothing to lose, except the terrible pain. From the start they were unbelivably helful about my sitaution...the lady doctor was so kind and told me that she would just look from the outside and wouldn't dare examine me since she could see what she needed to see without hurting me further. Her opinion...I had a deep fissure, a sphincter muscle that was in a constant state of spasm and a couple of external skin tags, no hemeroids! She gave me some Nitroglycerin Ointment and told me to try it and if I didn't experience some relief within a week that I could opt for surgery that would supposedly only give me an average amount of soreness for two days and that I would be extremely better within five days. I didn't know what to say. I went home with the Nitro cream, was warned of the side affect of bad headaches and was scared to use it from what I heard, two days later I finally used it, with no headache. But it didn't work! I felt a tad less pain..but STILL the constant pain of going to the bathroom stayed with me. For weeks I had been using Lidocaine Jelly (a prescription) to numb the area a bit, so I think that is how I put up with pain for so long. But just last week I decided to go through with this new doctors surgery...I have had gallbladder surgery and two c-sections so I knew pain, but this surgery scared me more then all of those combined. I have a very high tolerance for pain, used Tylenol after my c-sections (no heavy painkillers) so I could tolerate PAIN.. but down there was a whole new ballgame. But I made the decison and stuck with it because the nurse kept saying that I would have instant pain relief, their goal was to loosen the sphincter muscle and cartarize the fissure. No big deal to them...but from my perspective, I was scared silly! The morning of the surgery was last Friday (October 29) at 10:30 AM... I went in, they gave me an IV...not horribly painful but uncomfortable and lead me to the outpatient operating room, 30 minutes later I was done and fully awake. Turns out that the DR. had to remove one of my external skin tags, since it was ripping into the rectum so bad that muscle was exposed (OW!) I'm thinking when I heard this....I am going to be in pain after this..that wasn't supposed to be done too! But at the point I felt no pain, because when under the IV sedation they gave me lots of Novocaine shots..but I was expecting the worst after I got home. But a strange thing happened..I got home and no pain, finally around 5 PM.. things started to come back on line..the Novocaine was wearing off and my butt started to feel like it was burning. The intensity got to be about average, nothing terrible but I still waited with dread for the moement all hell broke loose. I didn't take any pain killer to this point, didn't seem to need it. Later that night the pain stayed about the same, sore and a little burning so I decided to take a light pain killer and go to sleep and expect the worst in the morning. When I got up Saturday morning, the average pain became less...I even went to the bathroom, practically no pain...compared to the anal fissure pain, it was a breeze! I felt so good I even went to wal-Mart for four hours...my parents took the kids for the whole weekend with me anticipating being in extreme pain...my husband and I walked around and enjoyed ourselves, I was a tad sore but that's it. Today it is Sunday, two days after surgury and still going to the bathroom is easier and the pain is almost non-existent. My incision where they took off the skin tag is a little sore, crispy feeling, but other then that I feel remarkably better. I was so worried, cried for months over this and to finally do the surgery and to have this relief so quickly and so easily is unbelievable!!! I am still in a state of shock..I only wish I would have done it sooner..all that worrying for nothing. If you are going through the same thing, my advice is to find a really good rectal and colon specialist/ surgeon. I think my success is because they knew exactly what they were doing when they took me into surgery. If I would have gone with the general surgeon he would of destroyed me, possible for months. Don't be scared or feel hopeless...there IS relief, just trust your instincts and go with WHO feels right if you end up needing surgery. For me, I KNOW all those months of praying to GOD is what found me this doctor...I spent countless days sitting on my bathroom floor crying..God was listening and told me what to do but I was too fearful to do any kind of surgery. I just wanted to be healed....and I am finally! I hope this story gives you inspiration to get better and to know you are NOT alone, no one should EVER go through this kind of pain...God Bless and Good Luck...there is HOPE!