My boyfriend is scared out of his wits...today he came to me telling me that he was bleeding out of his rectum, and I don't mean a couple of drops. He said there was a lot of it when he wiped back there. He also said he has been feeling mild gas pain in his lower back.
I've read some stuff on the internet so far, and the only conclusion I have reached is that he could have hemorrhoids - I know that bright-red blood can be an indication of them, which is what he has.
And I don't know if this helps at all, but my boyfriend is notorious for delaying the passing of a stool...basically, he holds it for a long time, sometimes hours. But he is not constipated nor does he have diarrhea. His only symptoms are the bleeding of bright-red blood and gas pains.
Even his dad said it could be hemorrhoids; I doubt it's anything threatening, but I still worry about him.
Any advice would be immensely appreciated - reassurance is what I'm searching for; please, he is only 17 and I worry about him very badly when something goes haywire.
Dark Stranger, I'll be the first to try to help. Others will follow, I'm sure. Hems are a very real possibility and more so a probability. Would suggest your boyfriend get it checked out by a doc to make sure. Any time there is bleeding, a doc is your best answer. When there is bright red blood, the cadillac test is a colonoscopy. The prep is the worse part and not that bad if Fleet Phoso Soda is used for the prep. You get wonderful drugs before the test and have the best sleep in the world when you go to bed that night. Young people can have very ugly hemorrhoids..my hubby at 25 had surgery by a doc who was retiring and he said it was the worse case he had ever seen. He also had a lot of bright red blood when he wiped. The problem most guys have is that they don't want to ever have anything wrong and put off going to a doctor. This may be a blessing in disguise if he can get over all of that when he is young rather waiting til he is older and should have been to a doc years ago! Take care and try not to worry....a lot of people are here for ya! Cathy
Thank you very much for your advice, Cathy. I appreciate it beyond what you can probably believe.
But the only bad thing about my boyfriend is that, like myself, he is very stubborn and refuses medical help outside dental. And he is especially touchy around his backside - even I cannot touch back there. And because he is much larger than me I couldn't easily drag him to a doctor.
Though we have a lot in common I wish this negative trait of his was something we didn't share...I'm supposed to be the stubborn one in the relationship XD
But I told him if it goes on for more than a week that he best get his heinie to the doctor, and if he doesn't I'm going to ask his dad to insist. He and his dad are really really close, so I tihnk if I can't get through his thick skull, his dad can.
Dark Stranger, He's very fortunate to have someone like you who cares so much. And, definitely insist that he goes if the bleeding persists. I know EXACTLY where he's coming from...what he can do if he should decide to go get it checked out is to go to either a gastro or a colon rectal specialist with the attitude that he wants the cadillac test, the colonoscopy....then the doc probably won't even examine him in his office. Tell him don't worry about feeling "violated" if he does have a colonoscopy..had
my first one this year and I can't wait to go back for the drugs...you have to look on the bright side of things!!!! An IV is administered before the proceedure and you really don't even know what's going on...I tried to watch my proceedure on the monitor but was way too groggy...got one glimpse and was asleep the rest of the time! Just reassure him there is no reason to be "scared out of his wits"...it's probably just hems or if it's something else, then it needs to be identified and taken care of....there are always worse things in this world that can happen! Reassure him also that doctors and nurses are very accustomed to timid patients with the symptoms he has and will know how to professionally make him feel comfortable. Please keep us posted. Cathy
Well a bit of an update on this, not in his seeking or acquiring of medical help, but just in his condition...forget the gas pain - he has only the bleeding, but it's enough to stain his underwear and soak through to his shorts, which are made of a thick material.
Personally I think the biggest danger he could be facing now is a potential tear or series of tears in his rectum, but this abnormal bleeding is scaring him enough to make him hyperventilate and cry. And I assure you, it takes a whole heck of a lot to make my boyfriend cry. I was on the phone with him when he cried and I almost hung up and called 911; I thought he was going to have a stroke right there over the phone.
I've tried telling him to call his dad...he feels embarrassed telling his mom about this (he lives with his mom), but his dad is the one with the car. My boyfriend is his parents' only child, and they love him to the ends of the earth, and they absolutely won't deny him medical attention, no matter what the cost is. Even with that logic, though, he still refuses to seek medical care.
I'm more worried that he's going to make himself sick by stressing so badly than I am worried about him being sick from bleeding. He even had me crying because I was so worried about him.
How can I help him? I'm getting so worried thinking he's going to bleed to death in his sleep and then I'll wake up tomorrow and he'll be gone
The bright red blood is usually the sign of hemorrhoids or a fissure.
But anytime there is rectal bleeding --- it needs to be checked out by a doctor because also sometimes the first sign of colon cancer is bleeding.
So, It needs to be checked!!!
Dark Stranger, Sorry to hear the problem is not any better. What do you think he would do if the situation was reversed? Do you think he would tell your Mom if you wouldn't??? It might be easier for you to "break the ice" with her. She'll take it from there, I'm sure! Who cares if he gets mad at you...he will get medical attention and probably find out it's not as serious as he thinks it is...and even if it is serious, the quicker the medical attention, the better. There's a whole wonderful world of modern medical technology out there!! Cathy
Well he is not likely to die overnight! So you relax on that.
I hate to see Doctors too! So I can identify with him. At his age it would have taken a tow truck to get me to go to the doctor! He may have had a bad experience with doctors, so does not trust them. If that is the problem get him to talk it out with you. You may be able to help him see that his fear is exaggerated.
Assure him that at his age it not likely a major problem but needs to be checked so he can get relief quickly and not be worried any longer. Also assure him that you are his no matter what the outcome is. That you will always be there for him. That may help.
My grandpa refused to go to doctor's also. It caught up with him though. He died of bowel cancer. By the time they convinced him to go to the doctor they couldn't do anything for him. The ironic thing was his next door neighbor had bowel cancer at the same time but he went to the doctor and his was caught in time. I seriously doubt that cancer is what your boyfriend has. I agree its probably fissures or hemmroids. I'm not saying this to scare you just to show that sometimes the consequences can be pretty severe. What about showing him these posts?? Maybe that would convince him of the importance of it. Good luck and I hope he soon changes his mind for your sake along with his.
What about showing him these posts?? Maybe that would convince him of the importance of it.
He does see them - in fact he's a member here. But he's always been very stubborn about seeking medical help, just like me.
Yet another update: whatever was causing the bleeding has either lessened or disappeared, because the bleeding stopped. He told me on the night he was freaking out that he had to use make a bowel movement...that was Friday. He didn't actually use the bathroom until very late Saturday night, or the wee morning hours of Sunday. I don't know how he managed to hold it that long, but he was too scared of seeing blood. When he actually went, he said there was a tiny bit of blood but it was gone after wiping.
He's back to normal now, thank goodness. I know I you guys suggested hemorrhoids and fissures as possible causes, but I started to wonder about a third cause. Is it possible he may have had a cyst in his rectum that may have ruptured somehow? *wonders*
But I'm extremely grateful for everyone's advice. Thanks so much, you guys. I appreciate it ^-^