rectal bulge and other things
first off, im the uk
suffice to say my body is falling apart. gp is refusing to refer me. psychiatrist been off sick mostly all last month. so they cant get hold of her.
last 3 months i have felt a bulge grow in my rectum. to the point where its blocked totally. takes pressure build up to be able to 'go'. taking movicol??? movicil??? helps a little but not great. senna and lactulose didnt help at all
had 5 episodes of toilet bowl full of blood.
docs say internal haemarroids.
been examined by 3 but the position they examine me 'pulls everything up' and bulge is a good 3 inches plus up inside. so they dont find it. but i have flet it grow from slight bulge to total block over the months. how do i explain this to doctors without shame? ok, in my sex life i engage in anal sex and play. i know what it feels like up there. yeah i could feel it with my finger.
worried its something serious.
and that by the time anyone takes any notice it will be too late. either it will be something life threatening, or i'll end up having to have an op and incontinent.
im fed up with it.
im sick of everyone seeing my psychiatric diagnosis before anything else in this town and treating me differently because of it.
my psychiatrist wrote to them saying all these symptoms werentt psychological or meds. but they 'lost' the letter. cpn phoned them. but they wont budge.
made a complaint to PALS. got nowhere.
been to a&e. they cant refer me and tell me to go back to gp.
my wrists hurt whenever i move them in certain ways, for weeks now. wish they were in plaster casts so i couldnt move them. knees ankles hurt and click when i walk.
lots of other symptoms too.
so fatigued/exhausted some days. i just sleep all day. want to wake up and do stuff. have fun stuff to do. but i cannot physically stay awake.
there have been days and nights i truly felt like i was dying. wondered if id wake up in the morning.
starting to get out of breath alot lately. like my chest is heavy and not getting enough oxygen.
but i cant prove any of it
my blood tests were normal
normal ESR negative rheumatoid factor. normal FBC. normal liver n thyroid. normal electrolytes.
stupid kidney infection other week. but still protein in urine. no bacteria.
getting back twinges again last 2 days in kidney area.
had private bloodtests. raised alkaline phosphatase. nurse from lab rang and said should see gp about it. bone scan. but gp says its 'normal'. its upper normal for standard ranges, but quite raised for this particular labs range. they gave their normal ranges.
raised calcium too, raised albumin. but overall normal corrected calcium.
low chloride but barely. slightly raised overall protein.
but not too extreme. lab said 1 or two abnormals was par for the course. but i had quite a few (some others too)
gp rules out RA and lupus based on this. but my mothers twin has RA and she had normal bloods. only showed on bone scan/x-ray thingy when she saw specialist (she lives in france, different health system)
mother has fibromyalgia. grandmother has ms.
im partly scared. partly frustrated. partly tired out.
my psych team are exasperated. they are trying. but have no authority over my gp.
i dont know of any local gp practices taking patients out of their area. and anyways its all in my notes that its psychological and they dont bother writing down half the stuff i tell them about physical symptoms. its a general attitude in this town to psych patients.
im so tired. and getting scared. im 27 years old.
sorry to rant