i won't really have a chance to go to the doctor this week, but i've been experiencing some symptoms that are wearing me down, both physically and emotionally. not to mention it's stressing me out, as they are symptoms that are difficult to deal with in public as well.
i've been having different kinds of bowel symptoms that kept changing for months-i can't even remember how the transformation has been. altho' acid reflux was one of them.
in the last few weeks, i'm not even sure what it is anymore it doesn't feel like acid reflux as i understand it as i don't feel acid coming up. now it's just VERY serious gas. i'd get this general pain in the abdominal area that i can't even tell whether it's the muscles or the nerves or the stomach itself.
i'd feel all this air trapped inside me, that literally made me want to pop my stomach/belly. in the morning it's usually relatively better - depending on the day. but as the day goes on, it gets worse. by evenings my belly would be very much distended. again, how much it is distended is not consistent. but it does happen every single day. and i'd feel all this pressure in my torso from my esophagus to my stomach to my belly.
for a long time, i'd feel the air inside, and the air would just kind of get stuck in there. then for a while, i'd burp a lot. but the burps became more and more "violent". that it'd actually hurt to burp because such an explosion of air would come out. occasionally, with the burp i'd throw up a little bit of food in my mouth. lately, that has become quite serious. there was one night i was doubled over in pain (it was everywhere-in my sides, my back, abdomen, stomach and chest). i thought i was going to burst from the pressure. and every time i burped, it felt like i had to throw up instead of burping. so i'd end up having to run to the bathroom every time i wanted to "burp" - and then half the time food would come up. and not just a little bit of food like what used to happen. but a considerable amount until i must have vomited out my dinner.
i did feel better after that.
so that was a dramatic version of my present condition. but basically i experience this on a daily basis to different extents.
now, in the last few days or so, flatulence has become another problem. whenever i'd feel gas inside, i'd want to burp and pass gas as well now. and the gas is very odiferous. even with the violent burps, it was making me isolate myself socially, as i'd feel so ill and was afraid that i'd throw up all the time. and now this!
like tonight, right now i'm feeling very bloated and feel pressure inside. as usual when the burps don't come out, they'd get up to my throat and the pressure would build until i try to swallow or something and i'd make this loud gulping noise. i've been passing odiferous gas all night and also had diarrhea. only about 2 or 3 hours after dinner (not a small one), my stomach started to feel really empty as if i was hungry. but at the same time completely filled with gas.
constipation has been a big problem for me most of my life. the feeling of being soooo bloated inside and yet nothing is really coming out is hell. in the last year or so, this condition had improved a lot until lately. usually i feel completely bloated but then it still feels like all the waste matter is just trapped inside. the last few days, i'd get very soft stool, and and yet i still "feel" constipated, as if the stuff that needs to come out just won't. and the diarrhea would just end up making me feel ill and gross.
i should say the appearance of all these acute bowel symptoms (even though they kept changing) coincided with the onset of acute pain issues throughout my body-which was diagnosed by different doctors as fibromyalgia. i can't say that i'm convinced by that diagnosis. i refused to get on the suggested medication - a year or two of anti-seizure medication - instead, i seeked help from a chi-gong (chinese energy work) healer. what all the pain killers and muscle relaxants didn't help me, she gradually got me back into shape. but i can't see her all the time as we don't live in the same city. so i only get treatment (intensive) from her when i get to go to her. and whenever i'm having treatment with her, my bowel symptoms would decrease dramatically - that is until after i'd come back to my current place of residence.
i feel that the two are somewhat related, but i've always had lots of health problems (chronic fatigue, chronic sinus and digestive issues, very low energy, lots of physical pains and aches - even if that's a bit related to what i do as a profession - and embarrassingly, chronic bad breath.) and i'm really at my wit's end now. i'm only 32 years old. it's only in the last couple years that i started really seeking help with doctors after i acquired insurance and the ability to want to take better care of myself. but i've already fully experienced how doctors never tell me what i don't already know, what i have already tried, or have found through my own research. so in the end, i've just paid a lot of money without really having any improvement, except for a sinus surgery that i was told to have. (that was one thing that proved to have made me feel slightly better.) i'm so sick of the illogical approach that western medicine has of one-size-fits-all. it seems like what i keep hearing from docs is stuff literally copied from texts that i'd already done research on, plus a splatter of technical words here and there. it's been so frustrating.
i think that i need to see a gastroenterologist for all this. but i'md reading the disappointment that i'd feel afterward, not to mention the bills despite having insurance. i've spent thousands of dollars on my health this year, with out-of-pocket expenses, and treatments that my insurance doesn't cover. i've had to rely on help from family members to get through this. so i am just feeling quite hopeless about it now.
anyway, i just wanted to get this off my chest and also wanted to see if anybody has any inkling what's wrong with my body. or anyone who relates at all....
thanks for letting me rant. it's been hard to talk to others about it...