It will get better, eventually. You're only 3 weeks out, so you have a ways to go yet. You sound like me, trying to rush it along, and the doctor says to just give it time to improve. I don't have the patience!!

I'm 5 weeks post-op and still have a little bit of pain that's NOT where the incision was, but it's actually on the inside where the colon was stapled back together. I also have a large area that's still got that numb feeling. Both are bearable though, because I can finally do more than just sit around here resting. I can actually put on a pair of jeans and not be in pain!
Redneon, you say at 8 months out you're still numb or is it just the scar itself? I keep wondering how long this will last but the doc just says it could take several months to get the feeling back. The other thing that really bothers me is that where my colostomy was, I now have an indentation. I joke that it's like having a second belly button! My sister had a similar indent (from a different surgery) and said hers took years to look normal again. I hope I don't have to wait that long....