Re: could anyone help with possible diagnosis/advice?
I have not had the same experience as you but i do work in surgery and have assisted with the sphinter related surgery. I do believe that the sphinter surgery will help with the incontinence. Please do ask the doctor, but what the operation does is tighten the sphinter to give you better control when you have a bowel movement. Also, you do not want to take laxatives every day. Please try other methods perhaps natural methods to soften your stools. Orange tea is a natural laxative. Fiber drinks also help. Also make sure you are drinking plenty of water throughout the day. Foods that are a natural laxative are things like prunes, raisins, bran. I know that when you are constipated though, eating is the last thing you want to do.
I will ask around also and hope i can find out some more information for you.