ahnold76

hey everyone, im 20 and have delt with this probably from when i can remember, i really remember this in highschool, complete depressive, thoughts of suicide.I have always have had a burden over my head, always thought i wasnt as good as anyone and everyone would think that i dont amount to them (i feel they think i not important my words dont mean anything, im not a real good friend to them, never say good stuff about me) the funny thing is that its probably true.they dont see what hurt it causes us, maybe they do and dont care but yeah. i guess in a way maybe we are disabled. physically disabled.in a really awkwardly disabled feature :\. and should be treated as disabled person would be treated. but most people dont. the true nature of evil in people we have seen, i have lost my first job from this. i have lost many friends that have left me for nothing once i first starting smelling bad in highschool, like worse, my best friend since i was very little from this. i have lost new friends made, feel used i guess. complete made fun of to my face from best friends the day they did that i never looked at them the same. never really hung out with them again. cant keep friends,job,gf. i guess find true people and true friends which are very hard to come across these days. if your in highschool and dealing with this, just wait until you get older it gets better, you will soon learn to live with it just like a disabled person lives with theirs. it still hurts everyday but just remember your not alone and your brave for this, and its courageous, get into a talent or sports i play the piano whiched helped me in higschool, do something you love in the world there is so much more out there and in this world, i know its hard to be optimistic, i know how it is, whats life like with fake people all your life, you want relationships with people you dont want to be alone, but it will come around everything come back in full circle. and never let anyone see you hurt by it always walk away or stand up for yourself, or avoid people. dont fight of course but dont stay silent, just blurp out something random about anyting change subject. never act out rationally. be the bigger one.