Re: I hate this condition
If you haven't actually have a tear, then I definitely wouldn't have this "fixed", as I don't think that your problem will be fixed by cutting the muscle and then stitching it back together again. Yes, the recovery will be 6 weeks, but that just means the healing of the wound, not the problem being fixed after 6 weeks.
You must definitely (I mean DEFINITELY) do your kegels everyday, hold your muscle 30 times 10 seconds and then up to 20 seconds. You might need a whole year of daily kegels for your muscle to be strong enough to hold it in. So saying that you don't have time or forget is no excuse. Kegels are the most important investment you can make for your future if you have this problem, so you'd better make the time. It only takes 5-10 minutes a day.
I wish you lots of luck with your problem and definitely agree that operating in your situation will most likely make things worse rather than better. I'd just be happy if I only have a BM every few days, so I wouldn't have to think about the problem for many days. When you do have a BM, take your time on the toilet until it's all out and then you're good to go for the next few days.