hurtsme

I have been to the ER twice, 3 different doctors and a colo-rectal surgeon. She said she thinks I have a tear. This was the end of October. I've been using the BP and white cream. It seemed like it was healing. When I have sex it swells back up and i feel like a golfball is there. I switched stomach meds to Dexillant last week and now all of a sudden the butt pain is WORSE. I go twice a day opposed to once. Everything is itching on the inside and it still feels like the sphincter is swollen. I don't know what else to do. I feel like i'm losing my mind. Anyone that can help, please.

Additional information:
First time at the ER they did a CT scan, thought I had a vaginal mass. We did the test and nothing was wrong with me. It was the swollen sphincter. Went to the anal surgeon, she checked me thoroughly and said if it was anything else it would of manifested itself by now so it has to be a tear. Got the creams and at first it was helping, now it seems its not. It feels like the muscle is torn. When my bf rubs my side / butt it feels like heaven. Now I'm itching like crazy. I need this to stop. I have done my due diligence of going to the doctor (many) and still nothing. My only other option is to let the anal doctor go in and figure out what the hell is going on but she is reluctant because I don't have a fever, no blood, no oozing, nothing other than this pain. I need some ideas. I haven't had sex in three blessed weeks and I'm just literally feeling like I'm about to lose it.