ReallyFedUp

I've had constipation issues in early childhood and often was scared to go to the bathroom. I've been rid of them for quite some time. I've also had severe anxiety, fear for health and dying, worry, stress, panic attacks, and depression for six to seven months and have had quite a few "health" problems. However, I think this one is real. For a few weeks, I've went from one bowel movement that was like water, and now I've been going through some bowel movements that seem normal, and then the next day just some little hard pellets. Then it can appear normal the next day. Or a few little hard pellets again. One day I had a hard movement that looked grey in some spots. When I have the hard ones, I strain and feel lightheaded, and still feel like there is something that is not coming out, and 30 minutes later I get one more little hard pellet. I also have been taking stool softeners for about 2 weeks. I also have a poor diet that consists pretty much solely of processed garbage, and have pretty much my whole life. I may not drink enough water. I woke up this morning with a lot of gas (I also have a lot of gas) and was sweating and felt like I was going to die. I don't think I really feel a normal urge to go...just gas and sometimes palpitations. My upper back also feels funny, but it may be the anxiety. I go to the bathroom and...little pellets. No one wants to take me to the doctor because of my apparently imagined problems in the past and I fear something may be seriously wrong. I just have no idea what in the world it is. I am eighteen, male, and 6'2 and 165 pounds.