It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Brain & Head Injury Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-11-2010, 02:42 PM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 221
caisaco HB User
Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

I don't know where else to turn. My boyfriend of three years hit his head Tuesday night (December 7th) and his doctor told him he hit the right lobe for temporary amnesia. And that the brain will heal itself and to just live life normally and memory should return. The next morning he texted me saying "um hi? Who exactly are we? Idk I hit my head last night and I get all blushy from looking at a picture of you but idk what that means.."

He kind of acts like a child. We're 18 by the way. The only emotions he has now are a sense of humor. He is still the same, he has the same interests and knows almost everything (like what he likes to do, who his friends are, he's normal but off a little) but our relationship past confuses him. And he acts like a friend, he had no interest in kissing or holding my hand. And we used to be so affectionate before he hit his head. A little detailed for the next paragraph (just to warn) but I think he may be improving?

okay so yesterday I came over to his house. And he's had amnesia for about three days now. And I asked him what he wanted to bake or cook and what sounded good. And he said "I don't know, but you sound delicious right now" (he always used to say that and was always attracted to me at any time) and then he said "I'm having this weird urge with you and my penis is feeling weird.. why?" And I told him that it was normal and how he used to be and he just said "Ah.. ok"
Then when we were in the kitchen making cinnamon rolls he said "Um for some reason I want to bite you" and he did and I told him that it always turned me on. And he said all our sexual experiences were rushing through his head and said he feels like a pervert and laughed about it and never remembered feeling horny and didn't think that feeling existed. And I reminded him that it's a normal feeling (what couples feel). We sat on the couch and he kissed me, and we ended up having sex. He didn't forget how to do anything it felt exactly the same as always. He just didn't tell me he loved me during it for the first time of my life. I didn't feel the love. But I did it anyway because I'm desperate for him to get better. But after I asked him how it felt and he was acting like it was his first kiss and his first time losing his virginity and he was like oh wow that was awesome! You're... hot..
And I told him it wasn't his first time and we always would kiss. And he didn't remember.


Is this a sign he's getting better in just a few days? The emotions he needs to remember are his love and care for me, but it hasn't shown yet. He would always follow me around and always be by me and hold my hand and tell me he loved me so many times a day. But not anymore. I'm terrified he'll never remember. Should I call a doctor and ask them these questions about him getting better? Sorry I'm just so depressed right now I could just die. He remembers almost everything, just experiences with me he forgot and stuff. He's kind of slow right now too. And is aware he has minor amnesia though. It's so strange how he's acting like a little kid in some ways. But now he has the horny emotion back that came out of no where. Do you think his love for me will come back on it's own? Like feelings will come back in stages?
he said he has a lot of interest in me and I make him feel safe

 
The following user gives a hug of support to caisaco:
curiousmoi (12-12-2010)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 12-11-2010, 11:15 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 684
Kasey443 HB UserKasey443 HB UserKasey443 HB UserKasey443 HB UserKasey443 HB UserKasey443 HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

Hi, I know this is scarey for you to go through. What you can do to help him is to be very patient with his recovery and just be there for him if he needs your support. Try not to question or read into every little thing he does or says, it has only been a few days, and it can take awhile for a person to recover from this. It may help you cope if you read up on amnesia so you understand what he is going through and have a better idea of the timeline for recovery. It sounds like you have a loving relationship and he is slowing coming around, it just takes time.

 
Old 12-12-2010, 01:39 PM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 221
caisaco HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

Okay. Thank you for replying. The thing is, I'm just scared he'll never remember what love is or never be the same with me again. He is actually kissing me now. And laying his head on me and kissing my cheek and stuff. And even yesterday he kissed me a lot goodbye but didn't say I love you like he always would.

 
Old 12-12-2010, 04:12 PM   #4
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,110
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

I agree with Kasey, I have also survived a major brain trauma, and the brain immediately shuts some parts down while it works on fixing the injury. It a miraculous thing, and I feel quite sure that he will return just as he was before, but three days is way too short of a time to heal.

There could still be swelling that is enough to defeat certain functions. The exact location of the impact and the surrounding area will determine what is lost temporarily. Just be patient and love him just like you always do. I am sure he is doing everything he can to remember, but it just takes time.

Wishing you both the best..

 
Old 12-12-2010, 07:31 PM   #5
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 221
caisaco HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

He hit the right frontal lobe, and his doctor said minor amnesia so it wasn't a major damage. But he's recovered so much since wednesday. But not the same. So really you got all your memories back? He told me he felt like it was his first kiss and first time having sex on friday, and it was very strange to me and how he forgot all of our experiences but said he knew what to do. I'm hoping by two weeks he'll be fully better. I just don't know if he'll lose his past memory permanently. I know usually people forget their experience when they hit their head and all their other memories come back, but I'm so terrified his memories of me and our love will never come back.
Thanks for replying, it makes me feel a lot better.

also when he remembers something about us he's like "yes! I remember!" like when we went to a homecoming dance and shopped the whole time before and him buying his favorite cologne there.

But is it normal he forgot how long we've been together, I keep saying three years and he's like damn haha that's long!
And you think he'll snap out of it and remember soon right? Do people usually remember the weeks they've gone with amnesia or what? this is crazy

Last edited by caisaco; 12-12-2010 at 09:25 PM.

 
Old 12-13-2010, 04:15 PM   #6
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,110
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

Brain injuries heal in their own time. His doctor would have the best information about his particular amnesia, so I would rely on his advice. Most doctors will not give you and exact time of recovery, especially when it comes to the brain.

Since he diagnosed your boyfriends amnesia as minor, I would take his words to heart.

Have you gone online and researched a little about minor amnesia? It is always helpful to learn as much as you can about any issues with health, medications and such. Reaching out for personal experiences as you are doing here is also very helpful.

I can tell you how long it took me to recover from my brain injury, but it is not appropriate, as our cases are very different. But I can tell you that our brains are amazing things, and in the right time, he will be recovered.

It might be interesting to tape record some conversations you have with him while he is still under amnesia, just to document what he remembered and not. That is something you can use to watch how fast he improves, because day by day you will see how much he has improved. It would also give you a project that focuses on the positive, rather than worry over something out of your control..that is never healthy. Plus, I bet he would be very interested to hear himself, he will likely not remember the amnesia at all once he recovers.

Let me know, I am interested in how this goes, and am here to support you until you feel better., OK?

Take care, and enjoy yourself with your boyfriend. Being positive is the best medicine you can give him, as we all sense worry around us, and he doesn't need that now, you either!

For a short time you have a virgin lover, teach him some "new" things!

 
Old 12-13-2010, 08:32 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 221
caisaco HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

Thanks so much! Although it's only been about five days, he seems to like me more and more every day and today he even said he loved me like four times and I was so shocked because I never pushed those words on him, and he said them himself. And kissed me and acted somewhat normal with me. But still since it's been about five days, he's not fully healed and you can tell. I've been trying to hang out with him every chance I get. And seeing him every day in school also helps. His doctor said in about a week he can return to martial arts and dancing and stuff, so I'm guessing he'll be fully recovered.

I have a question, so is it true no one really remembers the weeks they go with amnesia? I have a feeling he will, because he's improving every day and remembering a little bit more, and he actually texted me twenty minutes after I left his house that he missed me.

But he still doesn't think about holding my hand like he used to. And he knows he's getting better I think each day, I think he'll remember this time, but just be kind of weird feeling if he every completely gets normal again. He's acting more sweet to me and adoring me but I know he needs more times because I can tell..
It's like he gets better with sleep. This morning was the first time he called me a pet name like babe or love out of no where when he texted me.

I also save our texts day to day if he says something that shows improvement. It seems like it's been weeks but only like a few days.. goodness I'm impatient. Only because I want my lover and best friend back!
Should I keep trying to remind him of our past or let him heal mostly on his own and he'll remember us soon? yesterday I was like yep you're my boyfriend of three years! And he said three years damn that's long..haha

Last edited by caisaco; 12-13-2010 at 08:36 PM.

 
Old 12-14-2010, 10:53 AM   #8
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,110
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

You really caught on to something when you mentioned he got much better with sleep. Sleep is a time when our brains do much of their healing.

I don't think you need to push him into remembering things, just be yourself. He is likely feeling some confusion, it is very odd to go through this...although from what you have said, it seems he is taking it pretty well. The sense of humor is great!

I imagine this is much harder on you than him right now, so do your best to stay calm and do not allow fear to overcome you.

I imagine you will have a wonderful Christmas gift this year when your boyfriend pops back to his old self.

 
Old 12-14-2010, 03:00 PM   #9
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 221
caisaco HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

Yes. That's all I want for christmas. Yesterday I was over at his house and he was treating me normal, kissing me and he even said I love you on the phone before I came over. I was so shocked! And said "wow you haven't said that in like a week" and he said sorry!
And he was acting loving with me but still doesn't try to hold my hand and still acts a little weird.
But do people with amnesia fall out of love while they have it or can forget what it is? And if they get normal again the love feeling will just randomly come back and he'll remember all our memories?

I have this pit in my stomach and I feel like he'll never remember our past and experience we've had the whole three years, but you don't think that will happen do you since his amnesia is minor? I think in about another week he'll be normal if he ever will be. Since his doctor said he needs to wait another week for activities..

 
Old 12-14-2010, 04:11 PM   #10
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,110
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

A week is a very short time, hang in there my friend.

 
Old 12-14-2010, 04:15 PM   #11
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 221
caisaco HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

okay thank you for your help and advice.. :/

 
Old 12-15-2010, 08:17 AM   #12
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,110
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

You are very welcome. I hope you come back and report what happens, I am very interested in how this one turns out. Take Care

 
Old 12-16-2010, 07:25 PM   #13
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 221
caisaco HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

Well today he's being kind of weird, not really normal to how he was so loving to me. Too much stress for me. I really want to go with him in about a week to the doctor if he doesn't get better.

I'm texting him right now, and he seems like he's changed from the past few days, not loving at all. I could just die right now. We were so in love before all this, so he couldn't be healed and just not love me anymore

Last edited by caisaco; 12-16-2010 at 08:46 PM.

 
Old 12-17-2010, 12:31 PM   #14
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 5,110
writeleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB Userwriteleft HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

Sweetheart,

I hate to say this, but this is not about you. Your boyfriend has suffered a brain injury. His recovery will not be conducive to additional stress coming from your need for him to do more that he is.

For you to be truly supportive, you need to relax and accept him.

Although my case is very different from his and not to be compared to his, it took me years to even be able to speak, walk, write and even think clearly. If my family would have been so anxious for me to perform as they wanted me to, it would have been disastrous for my recovery. I had 4 strokes, kidney failure and a heart attack all at once.

I understand that you are desperate for him to return back to his old self, please take the pressure off. Recovery is not always even, it comes back in it's own way.

I am behind you all the way, and I understand that this already seems like a lifetime. Hang in there sweetie, and keep writing, OK?

 
The Following User Says Thank You to writeleft For This Useful Post:
caisaco (12-17-2010)
Old 12-17-2010, 01:36 PM   #15
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Washington
Posts: 221
caisaco HB User
Re: Desperate please help. Boyfriend has minor amnesia

Ah, I'm really sorry. I'm glad you seem like you're doing a lot better it seems?

It's just really weird, when he's not okay I'm not, we're like connected. I guess I should stop asking him questions right? But this break from school for Christmas I may ask him who his doctor that checked him out was and make an appointment myself to ask him some questions. Would that be alright to do?

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Softball Head Injury, need help! akpatriz Brain & Head Injury 1 11-30-2009 07:59 AM
Head injury?? Advice/help please... PAUSA Brain & Head Injury 4 08-02-2009 06:39 AM
Head injury and eye sight problem PLEASE HELP barmc5 Brain & Head Injury 2 04-10-2008 05:59 AM
Have you changed after Head Injury? Florata Brain & Head Injury 1 02-15-2007 06:18 AM
Effects of Brain Injury? I need help!!! Frankielebunj Brain & Head Injury 6 10-16-2006 04:30 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



writeleft (2), emeadows (2), mim (1), wendya2J (1), jennybyc (1), dave490 (1), Dan1 (1), JennyGxx (1), dahlstrom34 (1), Kasey443 (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:58 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!