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Old 02-24-2011, 01:45 PM   #1
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Finance Suffers from Amnesia due to Brain Injury- Need Help

About 20 days ago my finance was hit across the head with a pole. He is suffering from amnesia (what I believe is retrograde amnesia). He can't remember the past 8 years of his life, meaning he doesn't remember dating me, proposing to me or being in love with me.

After his injury the hospital said he is just confused and to give him a few days. He still does not remember anything between 2003 and now.... He thinks he is 21. The sad thing is since he doesn't really know me he won't let me help him. He doesn't want to see a specialist or psych or get any sort of help. When I ask to take him he thinks I am pressuring him... But, wouldn't you want to know your past??

He was back to work 2 days after, started going to the gym, and has now planned a 3 week vacation to visit relatives out of town. Will his memories come back?? We obviously had to post-pone the wedding because he doesn't remember me, he asked for the ring back but I kept it. I'v been trying to just be his friend right now. Any chance I get to see him I take it. I feel like a stalker because I am so used to calling him all hours of the day, and seeing him all the time.

Some of my friends have suggested that I try and get him to fall in love with me again, but, I have no idea how? He feels like a 21 yr old who isn't ready for marriage...

I know he is the one that suffered the injury, but he is just moving forward, doesn't want to seek medical attention- he is just moving on without me......
Where does that leave me? I just really want him back, I want things to go back to normal.

His parents and siblings aren't taking his condition seriously because it doesn't effect them. He remembers them and just acts normally, pretends nothing is wrong. I'm pretty much on the outside, his parents and sisters won't team up with me to get him help.

This entire situation is so frustrating... Any thoughts? comments? suggestions?

Thanks,

 
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Old 02-24-2011, 02:50 PM   #2
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Re: Finance Suffers from Amnesia due to Brain Injury- Need Help

You need to hold back as much as possible. You don't want him to learn to not like you or think of you as threatening before he remembers you(if he remembers you). This is not a "movie".

Amnesia is a brain injury that may or may not heal. Either way, it will take time. I'm sure his family is concerned but know that stress will just make it worse. You can't force the brain to give up memories.

If he won't go for counseling, you should. You have been even more traumatized by his head injury than he has. He has no memory and you do and you have lost a lot. And you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that he may never remember you as his fiance. Those 8 years may be lost forever. And hopefully, maybe the therapist can get him to come in with you and address the problem together...one way to get him to consider therapy for this.

Brain injuries can also change personalities so he may turn out to be a very different person now. As he grows up back through his lost 20's, he may take a very different path in life. You may not like this new version of him either.

Please do yourself a favor and get some therapy for yourself. This must be so traumatizing for you....I'm sorry.

gentle hugs..............Jenny

 
Old 02-24-2011, 06:42 PM   #3
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Re: Finance Suffers from Amnesia due to Brain Injury- Need Help

Thanks for your kind words Jenny,

Holding back is the hardest thing to do, but, I'v been trying. Everyday I get better at it. I have a lot of support from family and friends which helps.

He is talking to me more, I think he is getting more comfortable with me. This Saturday is my sisters wedding, he was supposed to be the mc, but he will be there as a guest with his parents.

I'm honestly really happy he is alive and he can live his life. I guess I just want to know what my place is in it.

 
Old 02-24-2011, 06:54 PM   #4
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Re: Finance Suffers from Amnesia due to Brain Injury- Need Help

That is why I suggested some therapy for you. You need to figure out not only what his future will be, but yours. He might recover his memory but if he doesn't, you need and deserve some support too. You both have lost 8 years except you haven't forgotten anything.

This is one time when one person accident had 2 victims.

gentle hugs...........Jenny

 
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