MrDister78

I'm 31.

I had a bus crash(no seat belt and flew to the back) at age 6 and was in comma for 3 weeks. Then when got up i had aphasia( i think that's what it's called). I couldnot talk at all and i was like mentally ill.....then i was able to talk like this but it was a very hard struggle, like this:

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai" "thataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan t"

I still faintly remember it. Doctors said i would remain like that forever.

I got lucky and got better though. and i even returned to school. BUT
from then on.. I never talked and i mean never. particularly in school. I had my mouth closed all the time. people laughed at me, bullied me.. and teachers always scolded me because i was a scared/mute kid.

And people think that i was just shy but actually i didn't talk because i had trouble with language. I never even got checked by docotors ever because my parents were under the dream that I didn't have anything wrong. plus we were living in a poor town and we were poor.

So i was like that from age 7up until highschool. Never talked and just talked the little i had to to get stuff done. i never had any friends or conversations with people

In highschool i had to talk alittle more but i really didn't aside from short phrases and one word answers. Again, i was always the most different in school. everybody else was fluent speaker.

in school i studied foreign language and i discovered i had a bit of a talent for that cause i got good grades. But it was not talking in conversations. mostly jsut learning basic words vocaulary and grammar.

then i studied another foreign language in college but again, i just did good because it was studying grammar and words ..

but in my languages : english& spanish, i never spoke and i still have trouble.

I have kept studying the foreign language i did in college and i'm a bit good at it . Sometimes it feels easier than my own languages because it's an asian language and i am more visual and in that language they use chinese characters which are a very visual oriented form of language.

I actually feel more natural speaking in that language then in my own languages.

ANyways,
my problems now at age 31 are:
-problems understanding books. especially adult oriented topics. very hard. I just dont get it and I get confused
-fiction books. in fact i never like reading them cause i forget everything after i read one page
-problems understanding spoken speech especially naturally fluent language.topics about complex difficult stuff. I can understand most topics but i can't really join in.. i can't make sense and i get confused.
-problems with trying to come up with something to say or ask. i struggle alot even speaking with my family.
-I'm slow
-I have pronunciaton problems
-problems getting in conversation. actually i never even get in conversations because i struggle and everyone else is fluent and i can't catch up.
So i usually avoid converstaions at work etc. I never talk at work and i just keep my mouth closed all day. It's not something i'm trying to do on purpose.. I just don't have any impulse to talk. It's weird, i'm like in a trance just in full concentration in whatever i'm doing. I don't have any impulse to start talking. The only times i do speak is with nice old ladies that accept my very simple speech but with normal people my age i really don't feel good because they're liek professiona speakers and i feel like they think i'm stupid.

-I have learning disablity and my vocaulbury is very low.

********
Anyways, my childhood aphasia was at age 7 but i'm still slow even though NOT As slow. I feel like i'm 60 percent speaking ability of a normal adult . in fact i'm worse than a kid.

But because i look normal and can think normal and i"m artistic and i'm good with music and computers, everyone just thinks i'm normal. especially my parents want to believe that.

*****
Oh and it may seem like i'm good speaker just because i write here alot. but in real life when speaking I can't even make any sense and coming up with stuff is reaaallly hard. So i couldn't come up with anything like this. Writing is easier cause i can see what i've thought.. so i don't forget the previous word.