Do I have effects of Childhood Aphasia even as an Adult?
I had a bus crash(no seat belt and flew to the back) at age 6 and was in comma for 3 weeks. Then when got up i had aphasia( i think that's what it's called). I couldnot talk at all and i was like mentally ill.....then i was able to talk like this but it was a very hard struggle, like this:
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai" "thataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan t"
I still faintly remember it. Doctors said i would remain like that forever.
I got lucky and got better though. and i even returned to school. BUT
from then on.. I never talked and i mean never. particularly in school. I had my mouth closed all the time. people laughed at me, bullied me.. and teachers always scolded me because i was a scared/mute kid.
And people think that i was just shy but actually i didn't talk because i had trouble with language. I never even got checked by docotors ever because my parents were under the dream that I didn't have anything wrong. plus we were living in a poor town and we were poor.
So i was like that from age 7up until highschool. Never talked and just talked the little i had to to get stuff done. i never had any friends or conversations with people
In highschool i had to talk alittle more but i really didn't aside from short phrases and one word answers. Again, i was always the most different in school. everybody else was fluent speaker.
in school i studied foreign language and i discovered i had a bit of a talent for that cause i got good grades. But it was not talking in conversations. mostly jsut learning basic words vocaulary and grammar.
then i studied another foreign language in college but again, i just did good because it was studying grammar and words ..
but in my languages : english& spanish, i never spoke and i still have trouble.
I have kept studying the foreign language i did in college and i'm a bit good at it . Sometimes it feels easier than my own languages because it's an asian language and i am more visual and in that language they use chinese characters which are a very visual oriented form of language.
I actually feel more natural speaking in that language then in my own languages.
my problems now at age 31 are:
-problems understanding books. especially adult oriented topics. very hard. I just dont get it and I get confused
-fiction books. in fact i never like reading them cause i forget everything after i read one page
-problems understanding spoken speech especially naturally fluent language.topics about complex difficult stuff. I can understand most topics but i can't really join in.. i can't make sense and i get confused.
-problems with trying to come up with something to say or ask. i struggle alot even speaking with my family.
-I have pronunciaton problems
-problems getting in conversation. actually i never even get in conversations because i struggle and everyone else is fluent and i can't catch up.
So i usually avoid converstaions at work etc. I never talk at work and i just keep my mouth closed all day. It's not something i'm trying to do on purpose.. I just don't have any impulse to talk. It's weird, i'm like in a trance just in full concentration in whatever i'm doing. I don't have any impulse to start talking. The only times i do speak is with nice old ladies that accept my very simple speech but with normal people my age i really don't feel good because they're liek professiona speakers and i feel like they think i'm stupid.
-I have learning disablity and my vocaulbury is very low.
Anyways, my childhood aphasia was at age 7 but i'm still slow even though NOT As slow. I feel like i'm 60 percent speaking ability of a normal adult . in fact i'm worse than a kid.
But because i look normal and can think normal and i"m artistic and i'm good with music and computers, everyone just thinks i'm normal. especially my parents want to believe that.
Oh and it may seem like i'm good speaker just because i write here alot. but in real life when speaking I can't even make any sense and coming up with stuff is reaaallly hard. So i couldn't come up with anything like this. Writing is easier cause i can see what i've thought.. so i don't forget the previous word.