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Old 12-21-2012, 04:02 PM   #1
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Husband has a head trauma injury

Hi all,

I'm brand new to all this so please be gentle.

My husband and I have only been married for 6 weeks and 2 of those have been in hospital.

We have our own business and were working back late the other night. I saw him about 9pm and he was fine. I went to the upstairs office to do some work and he was in the downstairs offices. About 10:15 I heard some moaning. Came down the stairs and there was blood all over the floor and vomit on the floor. I went into a panic and found him in the boardroom on his hands and knees with blood all over his face and shirt, a huge black eye, drenched in sweat and blood coming out his ear. He wasn't making sense and was confused.

The whole place was locked though including the gates so I knew no one could get in. I called an ambulance and we went to Hospital and were in emergency till 6am. The doctors and I think he must have somehow tripped or slipped or been kneeling on the chair or something and come crashing down and hit his head. He had blood on the brain and a skull fracture on his left front part of his head from the top into his ear (which was causing the bleeding) and he was completely out if it.

Gave me a fright!!!!

Now he is out of hospital and having OT in the home.

But my questions and concerns are about his behaviour.

He has become really selfish and self centred. (more than before)
He seems to lack empathy and has never thanked me for sitting by his hospital bed for 2 weeks.

He is awful to my driving and even lept out of the car on the highway the other day.

He has become really annoying in a childlike way.

He is having mood swings and often doesn't make a lot of sense in his thought processes.

He wants to drive, work etc. All are no nos from the doctors.

He was a bit like this before (slightly illogical and a bit self centred) but nothing like this.

Is this normal for a head injury?

Will he get his old personality back?

Thank you

Newlywed.

 
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Old 12-21-2012, 05:01 PM   #2
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Re: Husband has a head trauma injury

I am so sorry that you are both going through this. I am no doctor, but I would say yes, some of these new actions and reactions of your husband's could be because of his head injury. To know for sure, call his doctor and ask. It's important information for the doctor to know.
I realize that this is so much easier said than done, but please try to make this season in your marriage all about your husband. I know that you have needs and want to be affirmed, but now doesn't seem to be the right time for that. I DO understand why you feel the way you do, but your husband has gone through something very extreme, so give his brain time to recover. Rely on friends and family to give you the support you need, and love your husband as he recovers, and get as much information as possible from his doctors about what you can both expect, for the future.

 
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Old 12-21-2012, 08:04 PM   #3
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Re: Husband has a head trauma injury

I think you need to give it some time. Bleeding on the brain does cause brain function issues, and right now it sounds as though he is still confused at times and is probably frustrated that his life has been disrupted and he can't function normally. It may also be due to the injury itself.

"He is having mood swings and often doesn't make a lot of sense in his thought processes."

It takes time for the brain to recover from a bleed, so just be patient and give it a few months to see some improvement, with this type of injury recovery can be very slow. Now that he is home this is where the real recovery begins and it just takes time for the brain to heal from the injury, you have to hope he will make a full recovery but he is still in the early days and you just have to give it time at this point

Last edited by captjane; 12-21-2012 at 08:38 PM.

 
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Old 01-07-2013, 08:41 PM   #4
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Re: Husband has a head trauma injury

From what you describe, I'd be willing to bet he'll come around. I have a mild brain injury I sustained from an electrical accident - I took 8000 volts - and all the things you described are what many of us TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) survivors deal with initially. Many of the symptoms subside, and it just takes time. I know it's a lot for you to deal with, and I encourage you to seek all the support you can get. Dealing with someone whose brain has dealt with something is not easy. All the best to you and your husband.

 
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Old 02-23-2013, 04:31 PM   #5
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Re: Husband has a head trauma injury

Hi,

I was wondering how your husband is doing. Mine suffered a very mild brain injury compared to what it sounds like your husband had. He had a small bleed - a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Even with it so mild, he still almost two years later has a little trouble, but it is things people can't really see except stuttering once in awhile. He never lost consciousness, vomited, or seemed that confused. It was two weeks after sleeping a LOT, that I took him back in and they found it. He was in the hospital 9 days. They didn't tell me much here, as I live on a small island. You should have better medical there. I did my own research and came up with what needed to be done. There is a book from America called Coping with mild TBI. It is by Dr. Diane Stolen and she had her own brain injury. Look up her site...DrDiane. Just like that. This will help. My husband started going out of his head even after leaving the hospital. I never saw it at first. I found out through Dr. Diane that he needed specialized help. If you have biofeedback or neurofeedback there, it is what he will need. I was told that even when the blood is gone, there could be damage on the cellular level. My husband...as mild as it seemed...became very childlike. No anger issues - but extremely common with MTBI. I could not leave him alone. He would want to go look for me. He would seem perfectly normal and I would never know when he would "disappear" for awhile. He would respond and know it was coming. You must have patience. He could not think things through at all and he still struggles with this two years later. The treatments helped with the noise, lights, people, stimulation troubles. He needs much quiet and rest - your husband. Especially since it has only been a couple of months. I hope someone has told you what to do for this. We went stateside to get his treatments and they worked amazingly. Everyone said he could be a couple more years still recovering if it wasn't for that. He still once in awhile gets glitches in his brain. He will see words when he reads out loud and cannot get them to form. He struggles most with cognitive reasoning - which he does not really need for his job. He had a separation from the front of the brain to the back. The brain maps they did showed it in full color so you can understand better. I hope you are doing okay with him and especially being newly married. I will be happy to answer any other questions. I see you had some, but not enough it looks like on here. I wanted to add that he had absolutely no personality after the injury. He didn't know how to interact or laugh really or anything much. He talked fine, but it was like he was lethargic. I keep messing up this post and put it too many times, so i will stop for now. Feel free to ask my anything.

Last edited by azoremom; 02-23-2013 at 04:41 PM. Reason: additional info

 
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Old 02-23-2013, 04:34 PM   #6
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Re: Husband has a head trauma injury

Hi,

I was wondering how your husband is doing. Mine suffered a very mild brain injury compared to what it sounds like your husband had. He had a small bleed - a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Even with it so mild, he still almost two years later has a little trouble, but it is things people can't really see except stuttering once in awhile. He never lost consciousness, vomited, or seemed that confused. It was two weeks after sleeping a LOT, that I took him back in and they found it. He was in the hospital 9 days. They didn't tell me much here, as I live on a small island. You should have better medical there. I did my own research and came up with what needed to be done. There is a book from America called Coping with mild TBI. It is by Dr. Diane Stolen and she had her own brain injury. Look up her site...DrDiane. Just like that. This will help. My husband started going out of his head even after leaving the hospital. I never saw it at first. I found out through Dr. Diane that he needed specialized help. If you have biofeedback or neurofeedback there, it is what he will need. I was told that even when the blood is gone, there could be damage on the cellular level. My husband...as mild as it seemed...became very childlike. No anger issues - but extremely common with MTBI. I could not leave him alone. He would want to go look for me. He would seem perfectly normal and I would never know when he would "disappear" for awhile. He would respond and know it was coming. You must have patience. He could not think things through at all and he still struggles with this two years later. The treatments helped with the noise, lights, people, stimulation troubles. He needs much quiet and rest - your husband. Especially since it has only been a couple of months. I hope someone has told you what to do for this. We went stateside to get his treatments and they worked amazingly. Everyone said he could be a couple more years still recovering if it wasn't for that. He still once in awhile gets glitches in his brain. He will see words when he reads out loud and cannot get them to form. He struggles most with cognitive reasoning - which he does not really need for his job. He had a separation from the front of the brain to the back. The brain maps they did showed it in full color so you can understand better. I hope you are doing okay with him and especially being newly married. I will be happy to answer any other questions. I see you had some, but not enough it looks like on here. By the way, my husband had absolutely no personality after his injury. He rarely smiled and didn't seem to know how to crack a joke or respond to anything without seeming lethargic. This I found out was very common. The anger issue he has may be about the only thing. Even his own noise may bother him immensely and he may have ringing of the ears continually which can drive him bonkers.

Last edited by azoremom; 02-23-2013 at 04:37 PM. Reason: additional info

 
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Old 03-01-2013, 09:28 AM   #7
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Re: Husband has a head trauma injury

Hello, I am not sure I can help because as I have learned in the past two years living with a brain injury: it is a long road to recovery.

However, I hope I can give some friendly advise. The first step, is realizing something severe and traumatic has happened. This is not something that either of you will be able to push aside, although he will want to do just that. I returned to school out of stubbornness and only made things harder on myself. At first I was in denial that anything had happened because I could not see the trauma or changes. For two years I tried to prove to myself and everyone else that I was okay, when really I was more alone and scared than I had ever been. I knew those closest to me wanted to help, but I didn't want them to treat me like a patient. Confidence is a HUGE problem after someone endures a brain injury. I liked the person I was before my accident...and I know I will most likely never be the same person. Knowing that, I seem to push or test people in my words and actions. It took me a long time to understand why I did this, but I know now that I can't help but question whether people, specifically those who love me most, can like this new, wounded version of myself. I test people hoping to find confidence that others will approve of me in order for ME to judge whether I can come to terms with the changes and simply...be comfortable in my own skin.

I have many other health problems, and I thought a brain injury would be no problem to handle. But it is the hardest condition to live with. I closed myself off for two years, and I can't say I don't still. There will be ups and downs, but all your husband wants to know is that there is a life after a brain injury. And that your love for him has not come into question. Yes, it takes time to come to terms and process the differences in personality. Try to be the person who supports him during this difficult time. The hardest part for me was thinking everyone else expected me to return to the person I was. I wish you the best and I think it's beautiful that you have already started getting informed. He will appreciate it some day! Hang in there <3

-Eacarrow-

 
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