I am afraid this may be a rather long post but someone please help me with some advice...
I feel I am going mad so dont know if I am suffering any kind of dementia at all. I have a few symptoms and the first is that at night when I close my eyes I start to dream and my mind just goes into overdrive thinking complete random rubbish which I find hard to control while I am awake. I start to dream despite being awake. When I awake in the mornings I can literally dream whilst I am laying with my eyes closed awake. This scares the hell out of me because I feel that maybe one day when I am laying with all these random thougts going on like a dream, I am scared maybe one day I will open my eyes and it will still continue and I will be lost in this random thought syndrome.
This has brought on anxiety that I feel I am suffering from a mental illness so now EVERY thought I have I find myself analysing each and every one. I cant relax anymore its like if I sit and relax and start thinking of random nice things I stop and replay them to see if they are indeed normal day dreaming thoughts and make sense or it they are non logic thoughts. Its like I am doing a self analysis on every thought I have.
I keep having fears that one day I will wake up and nothing will make sense anymore, I get scared I am going to get lost in a world of madness and never come out of it.
Can anyone help me with this problem I would really appreciate any comments, thanks
Ah yes I forgot I have become a real Hyperchondriac too. I always fear I have something seriously bad or I am going to die of cancer or something. Maybe this could be a symptom of this problem I have I dont know.....
You do not have to tell your employer. At the moment you don't even know what the problem is for sure. Once you have been examined by a psychiatrist, he can treat you.
More people then you can imagine have Bipolar Disorder. They are all around you. They get treatment for their illness which allows them to function in normal society without you even knowing. There are a few limitations to jobs you can hold. It wouldn't a good idea for you to be an airline pilot. You probably won't be a steel worker building a skyscraper. I don't think you can be a brain surgeon and you won't be able to run for the office of president of the USA.
For the most part, if you get treatment, you should be able continue with whatever you do. Unless you work with dynamite.
I was diagnosed with bipolar, I to have the same thing. Not able to sleep though. It's as if I can never just turn my mind off. At first they gave me Zyprexa. What they give schizophrenics, this made me insane. My psychologist told me it would make me feel like a rock to slow my mind down. But it made me feel like I overdosed on cough medicine, and like I was going insane. This is hell for me! My outlet is I read and write all the time. It's not just diary type stuff but lyrics,poems,stories some not too bad. But now they gave me a sample of Depakote to treat the mania in bi-polar. Actually I take my first dose tonight. It better work or not make me insane, the other stuff lasted for 2 days and only one dose of 10mg. Trust me I know what you are going through, feel like you just can't turn your mind off. I listen to Dylan alot, and that's what it seems like.
Sometimes I think I'm blessed with something and other times cursed.
"Just want to turn my mind off and float downstream" I hope this stuff works, I had mentioned taking Valium or Xanax but the doctor acted like I didn't what I was talking about. If this Depakote doesn't work I am going to demand it just to slow me down. That may be the only answer. Than living like this. I suffer Primary: Bipolar/mixed and Secondary: OCD (Obsesive Compulsive Disorder) But I am severly deppressed too, but they put me on nothing for that so I am sorta confused about that.
Maybe they just want to overmedicate me and throw me away. Some docs. just can't be bothered.
First of all let me tell you that you are not crazy and you are not alone! There could be a number of various things causing all this mind racing in your head. I am a 28 year old female and I also have ADD (attention deficit disorder) it is also another reason you could be experiencing these problems. Most of the time I have the exact same experiences as you do. I am a highly stressed individual with a very overactive mind, it may be a form of hyperactivity, needless to say, it really cuts into sleep time and I hardly ever feel rested in the morning. I use to suffer from extreme depression and anxiety, but now I am no longer suffering from the depression so it may be anxiety. I am intersted to know how you made out with your Dr. and what your diagnosis was. Good luck to you.
Yes, we are not alone. I have been taking Luvox for OCD over the last six years. I was very aggressive in the morning and had racing, uncontrollable thoughts -still do. I suppose I have learned to live with it and just assumed over time that everyone is this way - just something on your mind.
What I learned is that this may not be so. Waking up in to that primordial ooze with hopscotch thoughts running through your head as if you were in a dream while awake, is not normal.
I consider myself an overachiever and very intelligent, which we sometimes use as an excuse for our erratic behavior. We're just creative and entrepreneurial we claim. But what of self destructive and destructive to others? What of severe mood swings that have you lash out at loved ones, employees or others, or that cause you to sit and stare into the abyss with dilutions of grandeur or devastation? This is the plight of OCD, Bi-polor, ADD, ADHD, or some combination thereof.
I believe that this illness is not exclusively chemical - meaning...external circumstances and your attempt to perceive things properly make a difference. Of course some people have a lifelong habit of negative perception, coupled with the illness (which sucks). However, I do believe that you need to medicate and actively attempt to change your perspective.
I am currently dealing with a horrible external circumstance that threw me into a tailspin for two years - drinking didn't help either. Currently i am doing much better - why? First, I stopped drinking which is a killer. Second, I got Serequal to sleep, which appears to shut off my mind, but amazingly, it helped manage the distracting and destructive thoughts throughout the day. I do find myself still obsessing and role playing in my mind, but at least I can actively attempt to refocus. I am only on 50mg, which is quit low and at this dosage helps with anxiety, which should not be discounted as a killer. Anxiety is terrible and cause horrendous distraction and lack of productivity.
This is an ongoing learning process and staged enlightenment. Learn, grow and conquer.
you are'nt alone. you described something similar to what i go thru. you are on the right path. it sounds like general anxiety disorder(i'm not a doctor tho, just a guy out here looking for answers like you). GAD is very treatable from what i've read. hang in there, it will get better!( how i know it'll get better is because "you want it to")