It would seem to me that you have many issues here but the most prominent is you have very low self-esteem.
When you say you have no one to talk to and everyone has left you...That is a terrible feeling. I often feel that I have no one I can talk to but sometimes being lonely until you can sort through whatever needs sorting through is the best thing. Yes, it's lonely as hell but when a situation you are in is causing much greater problems then it's time to back away. Stand outside the circle and see what it is YOU want and need. It seems as though you've "attached" yourself to this man because you were lonely in the first place and now you know of no other way to be. Let's face it...you were a teenager when all of this took place, you grew with it and now you are scared, frightened of change.
I'm no expert here as I've got my own issues but living a life as you have described is not living.
Good luck.
[This message has been edited by Belle45 (edited 09-28-2003).]
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