Hi sweetie, I started posting this a bit ago, but my child (who has an autistic spectrum disorder) thought my computer needed a nap and undid a few things!!! Gotta luv it.
Anyway, you don't have to lacerate anything to cause damage. What you are going through is very real and extremely frustrating and you're so new to the injury there is still much hope for recovery.
I also can tell you that many brain injuries never show up on any scans. Some info I found described it like having a dish of jello, you can hack into it with a knife and can't see any damage to the jello, but if you were to lay it out on a cookie sheet, it would fall apart...or, if you strike a block of ice, you will see the initial impact and then stress fractures, it's similar with a brain injury. You may impact hardest in one or two parts of the brain but the effects are long reaching.
Before I forget, there is a bunch of brain injury conferences that come up in October. Contact your local brain injury association and ask them where to go. You may also want to ask for a neuropsych evaluation to be done. This will tell you where your deficits are, what can be done to correct or cope with them, etc.
You are not crazy and the hardest part is knowing that you are still smart, but your brain is so different now. I had many issues coping with mine because I wasn't sure what I was up against. I also had to try to get those around me to understand what was going on. That was like talking to a brick wall. People assume that having a brain injury means you are a drooling veggie for the rest of your life. That couldn't be further from the truth for the majority of us.
The smarter you are, also, the harder it is to cope because you are so aware of how different you are now.
In Utah, we have a brain injury conference on Oct. 19-20, which I attend every year. This year, fortunately it's only a few miles away from me. I take my service dog and we spend both days at the convention center. I have also done some speaking on behalf of people with tbi's and recently did a national conference call for voc rehab counselors, survivors, family members of survivors and doctors. From what I was told, it was a huge success and people felt connected, but I just spoke from the heart about the frustrations that come along with it and the doubt an invisible disability causes to the person who struggles with it.
I want you to research a few things, first, post-concussive syndrome, it will explain a lot and give you a great deal of information. Then, just look up head injuries in general. Again, as soon as I'm done with this, I'll ask the mods about posting this one site, again, it's not interactive, but has some great printable charts to give you more insight into your injury, the issues you may face and what you can do about them.
Please, know that you're not crazy, it's usually the ones who don't ask if they're nuts that are...if you're still aware enough to ask, you're probably fine!!!
Do you have insurance to cover all of this? Is the driver who hit you stepping up to the plate? If not, you need an attorney, one on contingency basis, and sue them. Make sure that you include the possible bills that you will encounter relating to your rehab. Also, contact a neurorehab facility that deals with tbi's.
Also, don't worry about not being diagnosed, if I had waited for that, I'd have never gotten anywhere. It's called a silent epidemic for a reason, people don't hear about it because it's largely ignored or under/undiagnosed.
How is your cognitive function? Energy level, mood, sensory functions, etc.? What are you struggling with the most? I don't have herniated or bulging discs, so I may not be much help there, but I had severe migraines for years and found it was due to pelvic damage from my accident. You may have also damaged that in your accident.
Well, I've posted a ton of info and if you're like me, you'll need some time to digest it. So read what you can when you can and feel free to ask me any and all questions you may have and if I can shed some light on them I have no problem doing it.
Also, don't feel bad for me...what I went through has been hard, but with out it, I wouldn't be able to help others get through it when no one else can or will help. So, I really don't mind having gone through it...I just wish someone would have been there for me...so this is me, reaching out for people who aren't as far along in their journey and if someone has any ideas for me...love to hear 'em.
Hope this is of some help to you sweetie...hope to hear from you soon.