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Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

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Old 04-14-2009, 08:13 AM   #1
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Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

Anyone have advice on how to get over the fear of dying?

Last edited by ms_mod; 04-14-2009 at 09:41 AM. Reason: Rewording of post

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Old 04-16-2009, 11:06 AM   #2
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raqwest HB User
Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

I wish I did. I have the same fear and its keeps me awake at night thinking of it. I just try to think that once you are dead, you will not know so it won't be so bad, right? It is just the fear of it, not the actuality of it..which you will not even be aware of...does that make sense? Kind of like you are sleeping.

That is how I calm myself, but it doesn't last long. It sucks.

Old 04-16-2009, 02:01 PM   #3
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Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

The idea that works for me is fully accepting that dying is inevitable and that no matter how hard I try I cannot prevent it from happening. Knowing that to be the absolute truth, I have concluded that it is best to deal with it when the time comes rather than try to prepare myself for what I believe death is going to be like. I feel that I live a moral life and haven't done intentional harm to anyone, so I'm pretty comfortable that I'm not going to be punished in the afterlife. I know that the dying process is going to suck, but it can't be any worse than the terrible anxiety symptoms that we all feel during a severe panic attack. So I figure it does no good to worry and try to prepare yourself for something that is probably going to be very different than what you think it will be like. If you worry about dying, then you will guarantee that you will be miserable while you are living. I try to live life moment to moment and to enjoy life while I still can; there will be plenty of time to suffer when it is my time to go, hopefully many decades from now.

Old 04-16-2009, 06:05 PM   #4
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Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

I have the same fear too. I live everyday with these thoughts in my head. Some days are worse than others. I think I fear the process but once we cross over we won't feel pain. I think I fear the panic feeling of what it will feel like during it. I don't want to die a gruesome long death. But we can't choose can we? I just have to have faith that God will give us grace during our time to leave. But at this point there is nothing worse than living with fear and anxiety here on earth. It is hell for me.

Last edited by TEdds83; 04-16-2009 at 06:21 PM.

Old 04-16-2009, 06:28 PM   #5
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tulum HB Usertulum HB User
Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

PLEASE let me know if you find out since I am going thru the same.

But I think it has something to do with just living, following your dreams, staying busy, increasing self-confidence, taking up hobbies, doing everything you always wanted, distracting yourself, helping others, etc.

Amazingly difficult to do these things though.

There is something about ourselves or our lives we don't like and that seems to be the main problem.

I do hate knowing the inevitable. If only I didn't "know" It's the awareness of mortality that kills me, you know?

Yeah, everyone knows but they do not know know. Others seem to subconsciously think they are going to live forever and they operate their lives that way until they get old.

I wish you well.

Old 04-17-2009, 12:22 AM   #6
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calidreaming HB User
Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

everyone fears dying. there is no 'getting over it'. because all of us are going to have to go through it.

i really try not to dwell, but i think panic attacks and anxiety all stem from the great big fear of death. why is it that we are fearing our 'brain tumors', 'heart attacks'... ? because we are sooo afraid of it being the cause of the end of our lives!

its a scary thought, that one day you won't be here. how does anyone get over this fear? i have no clue. but i do agree that death happens somewhat very different then what all of us on here fear it to be. i don't panic much about this because there is nothing i can do at all! and thats overwhelming!

but what we can all do is be healthy, stop the stressing, and live a good life!

Old 04-20-2009, 09:26 AM   #7
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Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

I feel for you and understand how you must be feeling.Its not a nice place to be.I wish i could offer advice but feel i cant at the moment.Its funny because just today i said to my partner i feel as if everyday i'm just waiting to die.What an awful way to think.A non anxiety sufferer doesn't think this way,we tend to think and expect the worse all the time.I am trying to change this thought process and hope i can get back to you if i can sort this negative one out.

Old 04-23-2009, 03:12 PM   #8
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SPC123 HB User
Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

Hrm, I am not sure how to phrase my answer without talking about other things that might be upsetting to some. I guess a mod can delete this if it's not kosher. The short answer is, I think of things that might cause more anxiety... If that sounds scary, don't read anymore.

Fear of death is one of my big ones. Everytime I try to close my eyes to sleep I think about it, and ultimately have to turn to watching "comfort" tv like Seinfeld reruns, Home and Garden Television and infomercials. Eventually I get so tired I just pass out. Which means I am tired the next day and end up missing a lot of work leading to more troubles.

I used to clear my mind and think of playing golf. Rolling green fairways, pristine white sand bunkers, on a warm day with the slightest breeze. I would visualize every detail of a golf game, the smells, sounds and feelings. That worked for a while too.

Currently, I have had to turn to more depressing thoughts. I figure death will come one of two ways. Either it will be quick and I won't have time to think about it, or it will be slow (I have a lot of cancer in my family) in which case I figure by the time death is close, I will be in so much pain I will welcome it. So basically, I am banking on life getting so horrible that death won't be so bad. Maybe not the most helpful thing in the world, but it does help me sleep.

I should metion, this is the first time I have ever even admitted I have anxiety in any kind of public setting. I only talked to my doctor about it today. I am 30 years old, and have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. I have learned to cope well with it out of necessity. This past January I was in a car accident, and hurt my back. Today I explained to my doctor that I needed a muscle relaxant to help me sleep, and I told him how I have difficulty sleeping anyway on account of anxiety. I told him how Valium is indicated for relief of muscle spasm in the back, and how I would like him to perscribe it for that, so that I could also see if it helped my anxiety. I have a very good doctor, and he wrote out a perscription for 30 5mg Valium pills. First time I have ever taken a benzo. I am very excited to see if they work.

I know first hand what anxiety can be like. When it hits, no logical thought seems to matter. I tell myself I am being silly, overreacting, but anxiety is like a physical as well as mental reaction. In fact, sometimes I feel the tightness in my chest, the pins and needles and coldness in my limbs, and sickness in my stomach, before I even think about anything. I actually sit there thinking "ok, my body is feeling anxiety. Why?" and I go over things in my head until I find something. I guess that is the best way to describe it. It is a feeling. And feelings, be it love, sadness, desire, fear or anxiety, don't respond well to logical arguments. The only way I have found to fight a feeling is with another feeling. When you feel anxious about death, think of things that you love, or enjoy, or desire. Fight your negative feelings with more positive feelings.

Last edited by SPC123; 04-23-2009 at 03:15 PM.

Old 04-23-2009, 05:41 PM   #9
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Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

I have a terrible fear of dying. I always think that I have some condition, usually with my heart, that's going to cause me to die. I'm absolutely terrified. I think about it at leas a few times a day and it's so draining. Trying to rationalize with yourself that you are healthy and strong is helpful to me sometimes, but not enough to get me over my fear. You aren't alone. Good luck to you.

Old 04-30-2009, 03:41 AM   #10
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johncbackedup HB User
Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

I just had an idea for you.

I was surfing up on the youtubes tonight having a gay old time, you know, laughing at silly stuff. And then I had this sharp burst of pain and it freaked me out. I immediatly searched health forums in google and registered here, posted my problem.

I got to the anxiety forum and I thought this is to much for me. I about had an anxiety attack just reading about others anxiety. And I saw this thread, and I was like this is waaaaaaay to much for me. So I finished up and went outside to smoke a cigarette.

I was standing there and it was nice. The Birds were chirping, the sun was about to come up. It was a little bit chilly, but just nice and fresh. And I thought to myself, "You know? Hopefully I did just die. Because I can dig this you know? This is A ok with me, just chillin."

<I DON'T KNOW>, maybe that's just crazy. And if this doesnt float your boat, then music always works for me. You get listening to music and no matter how much you think you wont be able to stop thinking about it you just end up getting distracted and thinking about some thing else.

Last edited by ms_mod; 04-30-2009 at 06:58 AM. Reason: As per the posting rules, always use whole, real words in your posts. Ms_Mod

Old 04-30-2009, 06:06 AM   #11
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Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

Hi there, I have just turned 29 and although technically I do and try to lead a normal life I have had the fear of dying since I was a little girl. I have had a terrible childhood and certain things in my adulthood but again I was strong enough to move on and still am trying to. I suffer anxiety attacks along with panic and right now I am staying with my sister for two days with my child so she can keep an eye on me because I get that bad. When I am like that and fear of dying and I can't breathe and think I am going to drop down dead with a heart attack, I walk around the room with a Vick's Inhaler to try and relieve some of my symtoms of the fear. It is horrible and I know what you are going through. When I am at my worst, I ask myself what really am I afraid of, is it the fact how I die, no, is it the fact that I will be buried in the ground, no, it is the fact of the unknown that gets me, the fact what happens in the afterlife and will I meet all those who I love on earth again. It is a horrible feeling and now I must say it comes and goes I just try and say to myself that enjoy life now, I do smile when I get up in the morning because I am still here although I still do moan sometimes getting up for work but hey that is what I call living, this is your time on earth, we are all going to die it is a matter of fact and truely there is nothing me or you can do, I enjoy my childhood I never had with my child now and the fact that yes I am still here when others are not. I am glad I have reached 29 and hopefully a lot of years to come and when it is my time to die I do wish it is when I am old and ready to go. When I hear death on the news, yes it is sad and I say a prayer but I truely think if we all knew what was around the corner in life we would all never see round it. I hope you do get a little better it has for me through time until probably I turn 30 ehhhhhh. Good luck.

Old 04-30-2009, 01:39 PM   #12
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Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

It's impossible to live this way. . .

Old 05-01-2009, 05:32 PM   #13
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Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

My anxiety with this has been very bad lately, but try to think positively and keep your chin up and you will get through it. Thoughts are scary, but what we think in our minds is a lot less likely to happen than we think I've been told.

Last edited by PAUSA; 05-01-2009 at 05:35 PM.

Old 05-06-2009, 01:29 PM   #14
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Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

I cannot go on anymore. There is no hope left.

There is NO WAY to overcome fear of dying. I also have severe depression over aging. There is no acceptable solution.

Nothing to do but to let myself go.

Old 05-06-2009, 03:54 PM   #15
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highanddry HB User
Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying

I wish I knew what to say to help you, but I don't because I'm in the same situation you are in. I'm so terrified of dying that I almost want to die just to get it over with! The fear can becoming very consuming and difficult to deal with. I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy. Hang in there

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