How Do I Go On? - Cancer: Breast Message Board

Lasing · 03-11-2005, 03:18 PM

Every year since 2003, my mother has gotten breast cancer. First was the left breast. She had a lumpectomy, chemo, radiation which concluded in Aug of 2003. In Jan 2004, she was diagnosed with bc in her right breast but this was a different cancer and was a more aggressive nonestrogen cancer. Again, a lumpectomy, chemo, radiation which ended in Aug 2004. Today, Mar of 2005, she has been diagnosed with IBC (inflammatory breast cancer) caused by a recurrence of her last bout. She starts chemo again next Wed and has to go every 2 weeks for ? The doctor said it hasn't spread yet but it will eventually. How do I go on? I have a 3 yr old who loves his MeMe, a pregnant sister and a 7 year old nephew. My mother is one of the most important people in my life. I don't know what to do. How do you go about every day, mundane life when this is hanging over your head? I just needed to get this out. If anyone has any info on IBC such as survival, please let me know.

UPDATED 11/11/05
My mom died on Aug 6 of Metaplastic Breast Carcinoma, it strikes less than .5% of all breast cancer victims. It is rarely seen but it is untreatable, non chemo responsive and travels through the blood. Doctors in other countries (the few cases that are seen are mostly overseas) have attemped everything from your traditional chemo, radiation, drugs... to alternative medical practices. Unfortunately, it is a vile stalker of a cancer that, once it shows up, it has never been successfully been destroyed or put in remission for more than a few months. If interested in more, I posted another msg on 10/13 regarding what we found out about this version of BC

layla= · 03-12-2005, 01:18 AM

Stay strong, my nan had the same thing but much later in life, she had them both removed, i was not told much about it, so i have no real advice, I hope you get some proper advice on your situation, I just wanted to send my love.

Kalie · 03-19-2005, 08:31 PM

This is how you go on... you just do. I am 28 and currently fighting a recurrence of bc -- I'm stage IV. Be strong, enjoy every moment you have with your mom and your family, but build no expectations. If you have no expectations, you will not be disappointed by them. (This is actually a basic Buddhist teaching that I've been following.) Live for now, smile, laugh, don't think about things like "will she be here for the holidays". Thoughts like that will drive you mad b/c they are counter productive and completely unanswerable. Loss is part of life, and hopefully you and your family won't need to experience it in regard to your mother for a very, very long time. But, the more you think about loss, the more you are ignoring that she is still here. Just love her and let her love you!

Just a quick question, but what kind of doctor predicts that cancer will spread? Or, is it just your feeling that it will? Cancer doesn't spread until it actually does. Again, don't sit around thinking about all that, all those thoughts do are rob you of the joys you have right now.

Best,

Kalie

stargrace · 03-22-2005, 04:16 PM

my mum had bc, first they told her that it was contained in the lump so they just removed that, then she was tld it had already started spreading so they removed the breast and the lymp nodes, but the cpould remove all of it so she had to have intesive chemo and radio therapy to which she almost died from an spend six weeks in intensive care, now u wouldn't even think that she had almoset died,
no matter how bad things lookthere is always a big chance of survival, esspecially these days, we were told that mum would survive the night let alone3 years later

cyburham · 04-13-2005, 06:00 PM

My mother was dianosed 20 years ago. She had a masectomy and chemo and radiation. She was told it had spread enough that she only had about a 2% chance of it working. The chemo made her sick and she decided it was not worth it after 4 months because it made her so sick. January will be 20 years. She goes back once a year and is still healthy. Miracles do happen.