Hi there,
It depends on the medical facilities, whether you get to see the colpo on screen or not. I was spared, as my dr does not have that kind of setup... I did look at dozens of colpo pics on the net though before my colpo, and I know the feeling... However, it must be extra icky when you know that it is a part of YOUR body on the screen...
Why were you scheduled for a leep before the biopsy results came out? Are they so sure there is dysplasia there? My dr took multiple biopsies from 12:00 and 3:00 and was convinced that he was seeing mild dysplasia through the colposcope. However, the biopsies showed a pre-pre-dysplasia stage and no operation is required yet. When an area turns white, it does not necessarily mean it is dysplastic. Until the biopsy results are out, they cannot really know what is going on. (And then again, one HOPES they took good biopsy samples from all the right areas...)
From what I have read, it is not only the extent of white areas that concerns drs, but - more importantly - how intense the white color is. If it is pale and semi-transparent, it indicates a less severe lesion, or even just some inflammation or normal cell-repair process. If the area is bright, opaque white, then the chances of a higher-grade problem are also higher.
Another aspect is how long it takes for the vinegar effect to wear off and for more vinegar to be re-applied for the problem areas to stand out. It is a good sign to see the white areas fade in, say, 10-20 secs. If, on the other hand, the white remains bright/opaque for, say, a whole min or more, then again there is a higher probability of a lesion.
However, nothing is really certain until the pathologist performs the biopsy.
I think you are very, very brave to have gone through this looking at the procedure. I know I do not have the stomach for it, not after those 'net images...
I hope your results come back normal and that you get to cancel the leep.
Hugs.
PS CONGRATS on quitting smoking!!!!