frustrated at lack of support - Cancer: Breast Message Board

blossom64 · 02-10-2006, 04:06 PM

I find out two days ago I have two lumps in my left breast and a lump under my arm, and I have one friend tell me not to worry about it, my brother doesn't return my call, and I have no support over my concern over this. It amazes me. I am there for everyone in my life when they need me for the stupidest little things, yet when I need support, they aren't there?

Should I not worry about those lumps and act like nothing is wrong? I wonder how they would feel if they were in my position.

I feel like I am losing my mind here....

I am angry at the lack of support and understanding.

Sorry to vent, but I needed to get this out.

Blossom

shelley2977 · 02-10-2006, 04:59 PM

blossom, you need to get to a doctor to have those lumps checked. forget about who is giving support and who is not giving you support. lumps in breast and under the breast where the lumph nodes are is very serious. how old are you and do you have a family doctor? if you squeeze your breast hard any discharge from your nipple? does the lump hurt if you squeeze it? these could just be small cysts that girls get all of the time. i had breast cancer so i know a thing or two. do not be afraid to get this looked into right away. write back to me and let me know how you are doing. shelley

blossom64 · 02-10-2006, 05:31 PM

Shelly, I have a biopsy scheduled for the 22nd of this month. I saw my internist, who then referred me to a surgeon who felt the lumps and said biopsy. Believe me I am on top of it big time. I am 41, and my family history has breast cancer, both grandma and great grandma had it. The lump in my armpit came up after I had the flu really bad for about 3 weeks, and I did a self breast exam and felt the lumps. I had a mammogram in Aug., after feeling a lump, they did an ultrasound and neither showed anything, so they told me just to keep an eye on it. Looking back with what I know now I would have persued the surgeon earlier, but am glad it's only been since Aug.

There is no discharge thankfully.

Blossom

shelley2977 · 02-17-2006, 10:11 AM

HI Blossom, I am happy to see that you are taking care of yourself. I do not want to scare you but if your grandmother and great grandmother both had breast cancer this is serious. I had a 6 cm tumor that was not seen in an mammogram or ultra sound! my maternal aunt and great aunt both had breast cancer. you must ask for an MRI. Mention to the doctor that you are the 3rd generation which might mean there is a gene in your family. a doctor will realize how important that is. Why do youhave to wait till the 22nd for a biopsy? Try and get in sooner. Please keep me updated. Whatever the out come you willl be OK. Regards, Shelley

LizNicole · 04-27-2006, 11:22 AM

Oh Blossom!!!

Egads! I wish I could say what you say is highly unusual but I think not. I am learning to finally say "No, no thank you" and no. You can get support. It may be people who you never thought would be there. I'll be there for you!

I have heard some of the most stupid things since my diagnosis. In the case of my brother he said "Gee, Liz, I always thought I would go before you". My response is "well there's still a good chance you might so don't worry". I mean honestly...

Don't be afraid to tell people what you think they need to hear. If you get a bad response from someone stay away from them. But when I do get a bad response, I call the person, write the person and let them know of the pain they caused me and how I don't appreciate it. And I have no bones about worrying about their feelings. They need to learn so they won't hurt others.

We all have to do things our own way. Mine isn't necessarily right but since my diagnosis. It's a new me. I no longer hold it in. If it makes me mad, I don't give a hoot, I'll tell them. In the case of my brother, I just hung the phone up.

I get mad when people say "I'm there for you" and they are not. I try to look at my own issues of expectations of people and let it go. Easier said than done. You find out very quick who your friends are and maybe we need new ones.

I just joined a cancer support group. I feel that will really help. I'm single, have no family on my side of the country, men have dropped like flies (including my boyfriend who left the day I was diagnosed). I really believe we can make it, your going to be meeting a whole new group of people as you go through this. Write me anytime, Liz