Good day all..
I have two grown children a son and daughter that are wonderful and they have given me seven of the most incredible grandchildren. Their ages range from 15 to six, four girls and three boys. I am fortunate that we do a lot of activities together. In fact one of the boys is spending a few days here now.
Phyl, would you belive I am of Scottish decent, maiden name is Sims, and visited Scotland a few years ago. My mom has promised me that once I recover and get back on my feet from the Bc that she and I would go on a trip anywhere of my choosing. Did not even have to think about it, I choose to go back to Scotland, so will be doing some research planning that trip soon. Hopefully anyway, things seam to change so quickly.
I am feeling pretty low right now, my mother who is in her early 70's and still active and productive as a 50 year old, which I am, just suffered a stroke. I feel so helpless as I can't do anything for her right now, not even drive to the hospital. They are still telling me I can't drive because of the drain tubes. Fortunatly it was a mild stroke and they expect her to have a fairly quick recovery with the use of most of her arm and leg back, it is still worrrisome to me. She is in good spirits and determined to work hard to get back to normal, she is very concerned about losing her independance, can't say that I blame her. She told me that if she ends up with a slight limp or speech impediment,she won't be to proud to live with it. Says if I can deal with loosing a boob she should be able to deal with a limp. I come from a long line of very emotionaly strong women. I know the worry over me contributited to her having this stroke and feel awful. I am her only child, and we watched my dad suffer and loose the battle to cancer when he was just fifty. I have outlived him by five years so far, that is weird too.
Does anybody have problems with the armpit on the side of surgery? It really is driving me nuts, the doctor just keeps saying that happens sometimes but offers no relief. There is a section under the arm and partly around the back that is numb to the touch, but under is very sore and itches. Some swelling in the armpit feels like I am holding a ball underthere. That bothers me more than the incesions do. I am having some serious image issues with one breast gone. I am a fairly good size in the bossom area and it is really noticable, havn't got the fake boob yet, and when I go out fill out my bra with shoulder pads and socks. The area is still painful so I don't do it full time. I hate having my husband seeing me like this though. Oddly though my husband has asked me when I get reconstruction if I would down size a bit. I am a 36 D now, he would like me to be a B. He is very athletic and fit and to him the larger size size breast is extra fat. I never knew that untill this came up. Most of the women in my family are really small in the breast I was the odd one with the big breast. Trying to look on the good side I try telling myself, after having the surgery and reconstructions with smaller breast I won't have as much back problems, and will not have drooopy bossoms. But that dosent seem to really cheer me up that much, maybe later it will. I had really long and thick hair too, I went ahead and got it cut super short to get that out of the way, it has been easier to handle this way. My dh likes to play with it more, hehe. I still have more than he does at the moment.
I am gald to have found this group, it is nice to be able to ramble on about things that others actually get what it is about. It is very incouraging to be talking to so many survivors as well. I hope to be here a long time and to be able to help others through this journey when their time comes.
Enjoy the day.
Oh hi Phyllis!! Thank you for sharing this info about yourself! I feel as if I know you already! My Dad is now dealing with bladder and prostrate cancers..so I do know how difficult it is standing by..feeling kind of helpless!
I try to be strong for my Dad, as he, my mom, hubby and children all were for me, but it is a struggle. Your Moms fighting spirit will indeed take her far!, having you ,I am sure, is her main reason for wanting to get back to normal..
I sometimes feel the same, about having my illness cause so much stress..and other health conditions in my family..but Phyllis, we didnt ask for cancer..by chance, cancer invaded our bodies, but not for long!! You are kicking the beast back down right now!!
I can relate to the issue of not having a breast. I had a mast.4yrs ago, and did not have recon. for 2yrs...(I had a life threatening problem with my port collapsing in between)..and I felt just the same as you!! I hated the way I looked, and hated that my hubby saw me that way! but I keep reminding myself that I did what I did, so that I could hopefully life a good long life..tough decision though. I chose a saline implant, to me it offered me a breast without too many risks..I am so happy that I did it! Its not my natural breast, has no sensation, nor does it move..but I feel more like a woman with it.I had a reduction and lift on the other side..went from a D to a C..
I think we all go through a grieving process..loosing a breast, it is also a constant reminder of the cancer that turned our lives upside down. I hated loosing my hair too..almost worse than loosing my breast, because everyone could then see that I was a "cancer patient", and I hated that. One day a friend of mine who's 15 yr old son was battling leukemia told me that my bald head was my badge of courage!! Wow what an awesome thing for him to tell me..still never wanted anyone to see me that way, but it sure made a difference in the way I looked at myself.
About the numbness...some areas will get better, and some will not..I still have a great deal of numbness under my arm, all I can say to that is...you do get somewhat used to it..I know it drove my nuts too!! I used to tell people that I felt like cardboard..stiff!!
Glad you here!!
Having gone through this experience, as we all have, binds us in this sisterhood! Yea, I too love to come here, these ladies have become very special to me..I look forward to hearing from them everyday!!
Ill be thinking about you..will you be having chemo or rads??
I always thought that it was great to have something to look forward to after coming out the other side of this...I went on a cruise to the Bahamas..celebrated with my family,32 of us in all, it was also my 25th wedding anniversary!
You just keep that trip to Scotland right there on your mind..! Youll be there before you know it!!
hugs to you,
Hey Cj, so glad to hear your knees are much better wooooo hoooooo
I go for my #2 shots in my lower back today. Not as nerbous as last time lol. It helped for a couple of days but back to hurting more. My leg tho isn't as bad as it was though.
I try to get out but at 100+ it is soooooooo hard. Then by nite I'm exhausted. My errands help some.
Phyl, I was gonna tell you since ur new to computers when u go to post a msg below your post in another box you can click on thread subscription and tell it to send you an instant email. Then it will tell you when people have posted to the topic. It will give you a link to click on and it brings you right here to the topic u want
Well better run, I can't have anything else to eat or drink til after my procedure so I'd better do something to keep me busy lol.
Yea, Linda is posting again!! thanks for the wooooo hoooo's for my knees!!
Well I am glad your getting the shots..cause if they give you some relief, then its worth it!! what are they injecting you with ...cortisone? wow 100 degrees..thats hot!!
hey you givin directions to phyl..i didnt know that!!! but I dont understand where the thread subscription is?? so whats the scoop??
hugs back at ya,
I know it cuz I'ma Senior ya know lololol. Yea, the only time u can click on the thread subscription is while you are typing here. Its called "Additional Options". Then in there you'll see 3 more options which are misc options; thread subscription, and rate thread. If you click on subscribe i usually use "instant email notification" that way I know when someone replies to the thread Click on the link in the email and voila!!!!! ur here lol.
Yea the shot seems to help some but I still have pain so wondering if any of it is due to my arimidex but doubt cuz its only in my right upper leg, right hip and lower back. We'll see.
You all have a super weekend. Cj was that 4pm your time? That would be 1pm for me which would be perfect for me. I'm thinking Tee Tee is from TN? so she'd be 2 hrs ahead of me. Will hafta see.
hi all hope you had a good weekend. Mine very uneventful just getting on with enjoying life . Is everyone keeping well? We are enjoying some hot weather just now.Very rare in Scotland. Got booked for my holiday, going to china as my son is playing basketball for GB in the Special Olympics This has given me something to look forward to. Talk soon friends lots of hugs phyl
Wow Phyl...China..I am very jealous!! and your son is in the special olympics too!! how very exciting. Please tell him that your friend from the USA hopes he does well, tell him to sink one for me okay??
When I was going through chemo..my daughter was celebrating her sweet 16 birthday..its a very big thing here in N.Y., big parties, lots of food, and dancing..and it did give me something to look forward to also..it was really good for me!!
It is in the upper 70's this week here in N.Y., what do you consider hot...what is the temp there in Scotland, and how hot does it get during the summertime..here it usually goes up to 100 in August!! we have alot of humidity here, and it feels awful!!
talk to you soon,
hi cjammon , glad you are okay. Will pass on your good wishes to my son .He is very distant these days since my diagnosis. Did you find this with your kids ? My youngest is fine but we never told him the full story as he is only 9. Our weather can reach the middle 70's if we are lucky and we find that roasting.Don't know how i will manage in china with these hot flushes due to induced menopause. Any tips? talk soon
lots of hugs phyl
Hi Phyl..wondering how old your son is? It was very difficult for me to tell my kids about the diagnosis and even harder to tell them that was going to remove my breast..my little guy was 11 at the time, I told him when we were alone..and explained it in very simple terms..I made sure that each one of them knew that I was going to do anything, and everything that I could do to get rid of the cancer, and to keep myself as healthy as I could so hopefully it doesnt come back..I have included them in my healthy ways as much as I can..with good food choices, and exercise. I talk to them about good nutrition, and why they need to eat foods containing many antioxidants, and less fat and processed foods!
Today it was 80degrees here..sunny, hot and humid..and then thunderstorms..but this is just the beginning!
Phyl, are the flashes really bad? mine are getting better now..but were awful after chemo and a hysterectomy. My dr. gave me Effexor, it is an anti depressant, but is often prescribed here in the US for the flashes..you might think about asking your doc about that..I wonder how hot it will be in China?
Man that should be a fun trip for you Phyl I hate the flying tho lol. I forgot to mention one of the girls I used to work with at the hospital is from Scotland, not sure where tho. She is sooooooooo awesome and I love to listen to her talk. She is also one of the best nurses that have worked with me in a long long time.
I have 3 kids, 28 year old handicapped daughter with the mentality of 2 to 10; 23 year old daughter who is a cop; and my 21 year old son who has just started his new photography job My husband told the two younger ones. My eldest daughter who is handicapped was not told She was under the impression my symptoms were from the valley fever I had. What brought it up was my hair falling out. I told her it was from my meds which was true because valley fever meds can make ur hair fall out as well. My husband and I felt it was the best not to tell her at the time. However, not long ago like a month or 2 ago I did tell her and she has handled it well. When the two kids found out initially I hid in my bedroom alot from them because I felt guilty because I smoke. My husband emphazied to them that breast cancer is NOT caused by smoking. That did help but I still felt guilty in what I was putting my family through.
Well u two take care and talk to you laterz. Phyl if I don't see you before have a super time in China
hope everyone is staying well. Linda can i ask, what is Valley fever? Ihave never heard of it. My boys are 16 and 9. My 16 year old has Aspergers syndrome and my 9 year old has cerebral visual impairment.I too am a smoker and was informed that this does not cause breast cancer.Still i will have to try really hard to stop
Cjammom i found that after my chemo i was eating alot more fruit and drinking gallons of milk.Body must be trying to tell me something. Hot flashes are bad. I'm up about 3 times every night. Will see my doctor about meds to help as i am going back to work in 3 weeks
Well ladies i will go just now. Talk soon as i am enjoying getting to know you all love and hugs phyl
So Okay you two....I am an ex smoker!!! BEWARE WE ARE THE WORST KIND.
You two just have to give it up! I feel so much better!! Believe it or not, I had quit just two months before my bc dx, any other time that would have been enough for me to pick up a pack and chain smoke every last one..but I NEVER have picked one up..I cant stand the smell anymore..I would love to hear that you guys are trying..I could be your cheerleader!!!!
come on you CAN do this,
lots of huuuuuggggggsssss,
Phyl, what is silly beggers? lol
WOW I was never a cheerleader before..so here goes...
RAH-RAH- YOU CAN DO IT, NO MORE SMOKES
RAH-RAH- I KNOW YOU CAN, NO MORE JOKES!!!!!!!!!!
am I a good cheerleader??
only because I care,
I was a smoker too untill recently. I had my last ciggie the day before the first surgery a month ago. I was also told by the doctor that smoking did not cause the BC. Smoking does make it more dicey for surgery, especialy after. My doctor prescribed a new type of med to help me stop smoking called Chantix. This does not work like the Zyban or Wellburtrin. This works on the recepters in the brain to trick it into thinking you already had your nicotine fix so you don't get the craving. For me this has worked really well, yeah I still get a urge to light one up, but it is not so overpowering that I can't think of anything else the urge goes away in a minute or so. It even helps lower the munchie cravings you get when trying to stop. This med does not have nicotine in it, so you are not replacing the nicotine like some of the other products. I now say I am nicotine free....
I had the second surgery yesterday, they took out 18 lymph nodes and did some repair work where the breast was taken and did not heal well. The found cancer in the sentinal (? spelling? nodes and found cancer in this batch. Sigh.. The doctors keep saying they are suprised because other test did not look like there would be a problem. I am concerned there is cancer else where in body now most likey from the colon. The last colonoscopy I had they found a pre cancer polyp that was the size of a fifty cent piece so am suppose to have a colonoscopy every year now.. yuccckkkk.
The drain tube that was giving me so much trouble was removed but two more have been added. I think those are giving me more discomfort that the surgery incision..
It is good to hear from others about their reactions and solutions to everything, I don't feel so alone. I have the best in family support but it is not the same as someone who is actually going through it with you.
Hopefully everybody has a great day.